Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Little Taiwan CIneleisure a.k.a e@curve

I'm not a food connoisseur, but I can tell what's good and what's not, according to my own tastebuds, and this place is NOT.

It's a new halal Taiwanese food franchise that seems to be popping up. I didn't bother with pictures because I suck at them.

The food looked absolutely NOTHING like the pictures.

I mean, look, I know that it's hard work to reproduce picture-perfect cuisines, but this is ridiculous. The pictures displayed proudly on the walls shows dishes which are full of food. In fact, the beef shank looked huge and juicy. What came was a tiny little dish with pathetic think strips of meat, if you could call it that lah. Most of it was fat aje anyway.

And the noodles are depicted as huge bowls of slurpy goodies, but what came out was a huge bowl (at least they got that part right) with a few sorry strands of limp noodles which I couldn't even finish anyway because the broth was tasteless. The spicy noodles basically tasted like mee bandung without the actual taste.

All in all, the food was AWFUL.

And don't even get me started on the drinks. A glass of R.O Water is sold for RM2.80. Bukan mineral water ye kawan2, RO WATER. Yang kita boleh pegi isi botol dekat tepi jalan for 20 cents ke 50 cents for one big bottle ke entah tu.

Don't try the jasmine teas, even. Macam nak terbakar tekak tak sedap langsung.

I guess their only redeeming quality is their bubble tea, which is NOT BAD, but I can probably get better elsewhere, and their snacks. Tak ingat la what I ordered but they're not bad. Not really worth the price though if you ask me.

So I give this place a THUMBS DOWN. Tak payah try. Buat rugi duit je.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jennifer's Body

I'm currently house-sitting for my mom-in-law while she's off in Dubai (envy envy envy) after barely a week having touched down from our trip to bali. Man I kinda wish I could afford that kind of jetsetting life.

Anyway, while browsing through her DVD collection, I found a copy of Jennifer's Body and decided to watch it, since I refused to watch it missed it at the cinema.

Prior to this, trailers I had watched and that annoying soundtrack videoclip where two guys are walking through the halls of a school told me that I did NOT want to spend money to watch it at the cinema. The other part of me, however, was a slight bit curious.

Having watched it, my curious half is giving my better half a pat on the back for not letting myself spend money to subject myself to that kind of torture.

Bloody and gory, the movie had a storyline that a two year old could come up with. "Monster eats people, girl kills monster". That's it. None of the characters had any substance, and, at best, it's a show that was built around trying to show off how "hot" Megan Fox is. And since I'm neither a guy nor a fan of the girl, it doesn't work well for me.

This movie has made it to the top of my "I can't believe I wasted two hours of my life on this" list,sharing the top spot with Kung Pao, Blood The Last Vampire and Twilight. The fact that three of the four movies I just named has something to do with vampires, I reckon that it is probably trying to tell me something very important.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Fun in the Sun

By the time you read this, I'll be on my way to having some fun in the sun!

Bali, here I come! :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Things I Don't Get To Say

I've always been pretty introverted. I don't find pleasure in telling the whole wide world how I feel about things. When someone does something that angers me or makes me uncomfortable, I usually keep it in because I don't like confrontations. In fact, I used to spend my whole life running away from such things.

Lately, I've been trying to change that about myself. Sometimes, it's better to make yourself heard and risk hurting people than it is to just keep quiet and let others hurt you again and again. At the very least, they know how you feel.

But then there are just some things I still don't get to say. With certain people, I bite my tongue because I know the consequences of letting my mouth run would be too grave to even consider.

But I still hate it when someone tries to make me into a puppet. When they pull on the invisible strings that they somehow attached to my mind and body and make me do things for their benefit. I hate it when someone uses me in order to get to someone else and make them do exactly what they'd like them to do.

I'm not a puppet, not a doll, not your dog. I am a human being, with feelings, desires and my own brain, which I use to determine what is right and wrong by my own standards, which I have been taught to do by my parents. And I believe that what my parents have taught me are wonderful things that are to be praised, not ignore. They taught me to respect, which is why I hold my tongue. They taught me about free will, which is why they have never forced me to do anything that I don't want to do. They've taught me really well.

So I don't think there is any need for anyone to come waltzing into my life and deciding that they've got the right to control in according to their whims and fancies. I am who I am, and maybe some people should respect that as much as I respect and love them.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

TV Shows

A few weeks ago, my mom-in-law was telling me about a show she was addicted to on TV. Nur Kasih, katanya. Obviously at that time, dengar acuh tak acuh aje la, because I thought that I was too cool for Malay series (ayat berani mati, memang nak kena sumpah kot). No offense to anyone, but I found a lot of them cliche and plot dia somehow susah nak lari, mesti orang2 kaya yang corporate yang dengki mendengki antara satu sama lain, make up and hair wajib over the top, sampai nak tidur pun rambut 'big hair' the nanny cantik gila and make up 3 inci.

And so my mum-in-law asyikla remind me to watch because she loves it so much, but I kept putting it off, expecting the same things that are always on tv. On Raya Haji, we made our way back to my husband's kampung in Muar, and it turns out that everyone there are Nur Kasih addicts and it just so happened that they were airing the last episode that day, and everyone was excited about it so I finally decided to see what the hype was all about.

The moment I saw that the director was Kabir Bhatia, I realised the folly of my earlier judgments. I had watched Sepi earlier this year and I absolutely loved it. Similarly, Nur Kasih was indeed a wonderful tv drama.

The cinematography was awesome. I thought each scene was filmed carefully, and the effect? beautiful and breathtaking.

I loved that instead of the usual 'oh help me I'm a damsel in distress and I'm just gonna keep quiet when someone does something bad to me' protagonist, this one had spunk and while she was the poster girl for the type of woman every muslim man would want to marry, she did not let anyone step on her head and is known to deliver lines akin to a slap in the face.

I loved the storyline as well. It made me cry, laugh, smile, in fact I probably went through all the emotions I have stocked up during the whole 26 episodes. Oh and for the absolute FIRST time, I LOVED Jalaluddin Hassan's acting. First time ever. I've always thought he was ott and stiff, but this time around, it was effective enough to make me cry.

I rarely ever sing praises for Malaysian made films, but I have to admit that the quality of our films are improving a tremendous lot. I find this particular series meaningful, and, for the first time, considering this is a Malaysian made tv series, when i watched the last episode I felt the same way I usually do when I finish reading a great book or get to the end of a wonderful movie. The feeling of slight sadness that it had to end.

So, Team Aidil or Team Adam (boleh tak apply Twilight punya kat sini? ;p )?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


A few days ago, I asked myself what the point of this blog was. Is it so that I have a place to rant about the things that happen to me or others that I feel strongly about? Well, yeah, sorta. But I realise that I've been very secretive with a lot of my posts. I rant all I want but for the most part, the specific details are things that only I know. I don't reveal all that much, and I'm certainly not one of those bloggers who take the time to post up pictures. Im guessing I never will be one of those, but recently, after a significant amount of blog-hopping, I am attracted to the idea of this being a keepsake of sorts.

I imagine myself, a few years down the line, rereading my entries and reminiscing everything that's been happening to me. Or better yet, should blogger stand the test of time, having my future kids read through my posts in order to see what kind of life their mom had before they came around, or even to get to know me from the point of view of other people.For them to see me as a person, instead of just 'mum'.

So I'm thinking of doing a bit of revamping. No doubt, I will keep on using this space to rant whenever my heart wishes it. But I'll try to fit in some stories from my life as well. So that some time in the future, I'll be able to read this and cherish those moments that are so important to me that I actually felt compelled to write about them.

I may not post pictures, but that's ok. I'm not much of a picture person anyway.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Long Overdue

Contrary to the date, I wrote this almost a month after the fact. I've been meaning to write it earlier, telling myself that I need some time to turn my feelings into words, but day after day, it just gets harder, so here it goes.

If you're not a big fan of someone raving about their relationship, then I suggest you stop reading right now. This is not a practical post, it's not informative, it's just my a release of everything I have pent up in my heart and my brain. So if you're one to get nauseated by declarations of affection, then go on at your own risk. This is written solely as a reminder for the way I'm feeling at this moment: Friday, 25 December 2009.

On the 2nd of December, we celebrated our 2nd anniversary. Two years together. A lot of people might think that we had it easy, and in some aspects, we did. Getting married during our studies was probably one of the best decisions we've ever made because we helped each other through the toughest times when others had to slog through them alone. We didn't have to worry about finance, not before, during or even after the wedding.

Emotionally, though, we went through a lot. Ups and downs and downs again. The starting of the first year was particularly difficult, with outside influences and the start of our careers and financial freedom often getting in the way of our sensibilities. There was a time when I almost wondered if I made the right decision in getting married so early, but I'm glad to say that that time has definitely passed.

One thing I noticed, though, was that throughout these two years, good terms or not, I never fail to look forward to seeing him again at the end of a long day, to be able to talk to him and let him engulf me in one of those comfy hugs.

These 24 months seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and yet they also seem like forever to me. I know that's an oxymoron, but it's a blink because it seems like we just got married, and it's forever because I don't think I remember what it was like before I had him.

Here's to the rest of our lives together. I don't know anyone else who can stand seeing the real me the way you do, who can smile through my mood swings, who can remain quiet through my tantrums. You may not be a perfect being in other people's eyes, but you're absolutely perfect for me. I love you EpoL, and Happy Belated Second Anniversary.

P/s: Thanks for Ninja Assassin and dinner at Tony Roma's :)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

There's a difference

1. When to use "That's mean"

Situation: You're walking innocently, floating like a butterfly when I come over, slap you on the face, trip you, beat you up and spit on you.

That's when you say "Hey! THAT'S MEAN! Why'd you do that to me when I did nothing to offend you?"

2. When you can use "That means"

situation: Someone asks you the meaning of a word and you're trying to explain it.

You say "Oh, that means .... bla bla bla"

In this situation, you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT USE No.1: That's mean.
eg: a: What does the word 'mean' mean?
you: Oh, that's mean evil.

The example I just gave is WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

the literal translation when you use the example I just gave is: "Oh, itu jahat jahat"

when you want to say "Oh, itu maksudnya jahat"

So instead of saying that, you should be saying "Oh that means evil"

please take note.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009


It's true what they say. When one door closes, another opens.
To others, it may not be much but to me,it's a chance of a lifetime.
I'm happy, nervous, excited, smiling from ear to ear, and hoping I don't blow it.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

I recently watched

1. The Time Traveler's Wife

2. The Women

3. Why Did I Get Married?

4. P/S: I Love You (yes, orang lain dah lama tengok, saya baru terhegeh2, tu pun sebab it happened to be on Astro)

They're all about relationships, all about sacrifices and they were provoking enough to induce a pile of jumbled up thoughts in my head. I SO want to write about those thoughts, but since the previous post still applies, I need time to recollect them and arrange them into neat little sentences so you (yes, all two of you ;p) don't start thinking that I'm a raving lunatic. Until then..

p/s: images taken from here, here, here and here

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Allow Me This.

It feels like someone decided to fasten a big huge padlock on my brain cells that blocks any ideas from morphing into words. Writing the previous sentence alone took me half an hour and I’m still not happy. It’s like the ideas are there but the awords are stubbornly clinging for dear life in that mysterious part of my brain which isn’t activated. That’s what writer’s block feels like. And I missed my deadline. And I have no idea what’s gonna happen to me. And my abdomen still hurts. And I still can’t perform the simplest daily routine without feeling that pinch and finally collapsing into bed in exhaustion. And this is frustrating. And I am depressed. And I love all of you who are doing whatever you can to make me feel as comfortable and as happy as I can be. But I am wallowing in selfish self-pity. Allow me that, for having to stay at home and in bed for the better part of Syawal and even now, almost two weeks later. Trust me, it’s not as glorious as it seems. It’s suffocating. And demotivating. And uninspiring. And it causes writer’s block. And if you, the one who is waiting for this block to disappear, are reading this, I’m sorry.

Friday, October 23, 2009

To Be Fair

Why I'M Blur..

I was on my netbook in bed, chatting to my husband on gtalk when my mom called, asking me if we wanted anything from McD for dinner. He's working late today so I told her I'd ask him and get back to her.

So I called him up.

Me: Sayang, mama tanya if you want anything from McD

Him: Takpela sayang, if I'm hungry by the time I'm done then I'll just drop by somewhere on the way and get something for myself.

Me: Oh, okay. I'll let her know then

Him: You're not in front of the computer ke?

Me (unthinkingly): Eh? You said something and I haven't replied eh? I am, but I was reading something. K la..

Him: Ermm..okayy..

And after I hung up, I realised what he meant: I should've just typed on gtalk la kan buat apa nak call2 suma?


Ok, love, we're even now.. Happy? :)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Why My Husband is Blur

Him: What are you doing?

Me: Watching 'Jane Austen Book Club'

Him: Jane Austen? Sounds familiar...
Romance novels?

Me: Her books are classic sayang. OMG

Him: Hmm? Oh yeah...

Me: I cannot believe you just categorised Jane Austen as a romance novelist!

Have you ever read a romance novel?
This is coming from a TESL grad with a minor in literature, ladies and gentlemen


Saturday, October 10, 2009

We Don't Need Good Samaritans, Just People With Common Sense

Tonight, I witnessed something that convinces me further of just how flawed human nature is. We were leaving uptown damansara after my mother picked up some food for the people at home when we saw an old(ish) man fall down at the side of the road. The spot where he fell infringes on the middle of the road where the cars usually drove past. Concerned, we slowed down, intending to stop and give a helping hand. He was accompanied by his wife and she had just managed to pull him up when he fell down for the second time.

At that point, we stopped by the other side of the road, quite hastily and my husband jumped out of the car to help him up (for those of you who don't know, I recently had an operation and I am unable to even walk very fast, let alone "jump"to anyone's rescue.

Just as my husband scrambled to get the car door open, the car behind us attempted to ZOOM past, despite the fact that a man had very obviously fallen for the second time and that he ran the risk of being hit and severely injured. In exasperation,my husband of course gestured for the bugger to WAIT LAH ASSHOLE (not quite so eloquently, but those are the choice words I would LOVE to spew into his face had I been able to), ran across, helped him up off the middle of the road and escort him and his wife to his car.

Before I talk about that idiot driver behind us, I just feel like sharing something.

I had already felt slightly sad at watching this man fall twice and seeing his wife struggle to pull him up. When they were about to walk towards the car, the man turned his body to where our car was in order to grab a hold of my husband's hand, and my heart almost broke. The look on his face somehow opened up memory gates. His expression looked EXACTLY the way my late-grandfather looked, after he started getting sick. He looked confused, embarassed, in pain, helpless, vulnerable. And I cannot even begin to describe the way I felt when I saw him.

Anyway, to that driver, shame on you. You don't even need to be a good samaritan. You just have to have common sense. Does that parking spot or whatever crap it was you were rushing towards that just couldn't frigging wait really worth someone else's life (and car door, but that isn't the issue here)? Are you just so completely stupid or are you just that cold-hearted? Ugh.

So after my husband brought him back to his car (kesian, the family had just arrived and were about to have dinner. Needless to say, they cancelled their plans and either went home or to a doctor) we found out that the uncle had had a stroke or something before which had rendered him weak and unable to speak. Before my husband left his side, the uncle looked at him and nodded a few times. My husband turned to his wife and she said "Dia nak cakap terima kasih"

I hope he turned out okay.

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Need to 'Tunjuk Pandai'

I swear I don't understand people sometimes.

Those of you who know me will know that for the past few months, I've been working on an indie music website. Most of you who know me will also know that I know absolutely nothing about the indie music or culture but that I am learning, albeit very very slowly.

Here's what's got me slightly miffed. The website basically started a new feature where members are allowed to contribute their writings on anything indie. I personally think it's a great way to let them express their love for music.

The latest article, which you'll be able to read if you clicked on the 'jomgig.com logo on the right side of the page ( a bit of a shameful advert here, I admit), talks about a very famous band. Lo and behold, someone decides to comment and make sarcastic remarks about how these people know NOTHING about indie because they're into famous bands.

Susahla nak explain here, if u wanna know more, go to the website and click on the "columns' tab, go to the latest article and read the comments.

I think its shameful to be talking like that. That's not the point of the whole website. And what is it with people and the need to show that they're SO pandai and others are bodoh at certain issues anyway? If you're THAT much of an otai on indie music, why don't you make a contribution and write an article on the indie bands you claim these kids don't know instead of posting hateful comments? Share the knowledge la jangan simpan and then kutuk orang lain. get off that high indie horse of yours and smell the frickin roses la dude. kata indie sangat tapi berlagak nak mampos. and yes, I dunno anything about indie music or culture, like I said above but I'm absolutely certain that what you did/are doing is not what it's about.

puh-lease lah.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Random Ramadhan Musings

The other day, I was walking through the Bazaar in TTDI with my husband to get stuff for buka. As we walked pass, a lot of the vendors called out the names of miscellaneous food items and accompanied it with the word "panas", i.e: "mee goreng, panas lagi!"

I looked at my watch and the time was 6.00pm, which got me wondering why they were promoting it as such. It didn't make any sense, since buka was like an hour and a half away and the food items can't possibly still be "panas" by the time it comes around, right? And I wonder if other people get fooled by their attempt at marketing, which, to me, really sounds a bit rubbishy.

And then as we were queuing up for some putu piring, I noticed a tiny commotion at the stall next to the one we were at. The stall sold cups of iced sugar cane drinks at RM1.00 each. A chinese man walked up to the stall and asked for a cup, without ice. Promptly, the woman behind the table shook her head and said "taknak ais tak boleh. Semua ada ice je". A mini-argument ensued, and the woman's sister/mom/aunt/whoever joined in and yelled "No! Must have ice!", at which point, the man picks up an empty cup in front of him and gestures towards the jugs of sugar cane juice which were without ice.

The woman looked at the man who was manning the juicing machine, and said "Dia tak nak ais. Camne?"

He looked at the man, who was looking expectantly back at him and said "Cakap kat dia kalau tak nak ais, RM1.50".

The guy agreed to pay and that was that.

Bagus betul la. Bulan puasa pun nak berkira. I mean, logically, if someone who was fasting wanted to buy the drink, why would they buy it IN A CUP with ice in it? Dah tentulah by the time dah buka, the ice would have melted and air tu dah watered down.

And nampak sangat nak menipu kan, kalau ada ais seringgit je and takde ice sampai RM1.50? Ice is actually 50 cents nowadays, huh? And the cup is HALF-filled with ice? Brilliant.

Puasa ke tak ni kak/makcik/pakcik?

I dunnolah. Macam2 orang ada dalam dunia ni, and it disappoints me that during a month when you're supposed to be thankful for what you have and keep yourself from certain temptations, these type of people still exist, and thrive with their seringgit tebus with ice.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wedding Entrance Dance Thingy

I absolutely love watching this video. I have no idea where they got the idea to be so creative, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fact that their friends are all sporting enough to do this for the lovely couple.

Now why didn't I think haritu eh? Of course, the makciks2 who tried to take over my wedding plans would probably have had heart attacks right then and there. Oh, and imagine my peeps dancing macam tu.. Yep, I've seen you in action, so takleh deny.

But then this video came out as a so-called reply to the wedding dance. They sort of mimic the wedding entrance for a mock divorce proceeding entrance. Siap letak lagi kat situ, "Jill and Kevin's last day". (FYI, the video I'm talking about is for Jill and Kevin's wedding)Oh, and apparently this is something that they think will happen "6 months later".

In my opinion? Not cool. Even if it's just a joke. It's like you're hoping that they'll split up. Tak baik lah. Keji gila. And who the hell goes to divorce proceedings in a friggin' wedding dress anyway? *Sigh* some people just tak boleh tengok orang lain senang.

p/s: I wanted to put the video here tapi it's taking too long so letak link je lah kat atas tu.

Monday, August 3, 2009

On the subject of professionalisme (or rather, a lack of it)

Firstly, refer to this post and this post.

Secondly, when a customer calls up in order to enquire about catering for a certain no of people, maybe you shouldn't tell him/her to "kindly maintain a number of A and above". Honestly, you should be going by his/her requirements, not demanding that he/she follow yours. You run the risk of having said customer delete your email and your phone number from his/her list of possibilities, just for being so douchy about it.

Thirdly, when a customer calls asking for quotations and you say that you will provide it the next day, kindly do so. Don't make him/her wait by the phone for your pathetic excuse of a price list. And when he/she calls and asks when the list is coming the next day, please tell the truth: that you are too lazy/lame/pathetic to actually provide one. That way, it's easy for him/her to move on to suppliers who are serious would really like the business and is not just there for shits and giggles.

Fourth, when someone comes to your store asking for something in particular, and you feel like you have a better model/make/version which is more expensive than what they asked for, fine. Tell them about it. But honestly, if he/she says "no", do him/her a favour and refrain from laying on the guilt trip or making her/him feel stupid. Maybe he/she just doesn't have the cash for it, or maybe he/she prefers using THAT particular one.

Fifth, don't gatal2 bukak mulut cakap "Rugilah kak, akak tak ambik ni" or "akak ni tak kisah ke pasal kesihatan/kecantikan/kekurusan", or whatsoever. If I say I'm not interested, I'm not interested even if you end up foaming at the mouth from trying to talk me into it and start having seizures from it. I'll probly just walk away anyway. Rimas

Sixth, if a customer comes in interested in buying something, please lah don't look her up and down just because she decided not to dress up that day and you think she tak mampu/buat muka masam while you tend to her requests to get a particular shoe size (yes, I'm talking about shoe sales assistants), ignore her completely while she stand there with a shoe for 5 minutes trying to get your attention OR breathe on her neck while she walks around. So yang mana satu nak? Ikut pun tak boleh, tak ikut pun marah. What I mean is, stand by from a safe distance when a customer walks in, so that you'll be alert when she needs help but won't suffocate her with your insecurity, clingy issues. Leave that for your bf/husband/gf/wife to deal with, tqvm.

Oh, and seventh, if a customer says "I'm gonna look around first, to see other options, I might come back later" tak payahla buat muka or roll your eyes at her. Sometimes, that's the very reason she doesn't come back walaupun kasut/baju whatever tu cantik macam permaisuri punya pun. I'd rather buy from some other place which knows the meaning of "having choices".

Last but not least, I end this post with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi "A customer is the most important visitor on our premises, he is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption in our work. He is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business. He is part of it. We are not doing him a favor by serving him. He is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


You know, I do notice that I only seem to blog when I'm angry or sad. It's something that'stotally normal, a lot of people only seem to have something to write about when they're pissed off or depressed about something. When they're happy, they want to savour the moment for as long as possible, and words simply cannot describe that happiness they feel.

I suppose in a way it's passive aggressive of me, since I get tongue-tied when it comes to people I know personally. Or with cases like the pakcik guard, I refrain from actually doing or saying anything because he might actually come up with some excuse for his behaviour. Note that I said excuse, not reason. They're two very different things. Look them up if you're not sure.

I don't like displaying my emotions in real life that much. In fact, only the people closest to me have seen what I'm really like, and even those moments are few and far between. For that reason, I use this blog as a screen for my emotions, so that whatever I feel doesn't burst out of the overflow of pent up rage, which used to happen before I began to channel how I felt into writing.

This is one of those posts. I am disappointed and angry and I feel like punching people in the face. Certain people who make mockeries of other people's decisions and use them for their own pleasure and fun.

FYI, idiots (who, to my knowledge, don't read this blog, but god how i sometimes wish they did if only to see that there is something going on behind that quiet, shy facade that I put on everytime I see them). We decided to do this out of our own sense of moral and social responsibility. The chance was always there and yes, we did feel silly at times, putting this sentence onto ourselves when so many other people obviously don't give a shit about the wellbeing of others. Well, we happen to.

And YOU making it a joke and laughing in our faces as if we were idiots really does not endear you in my book AT ALL. Oh, and another fyi: you're not a priority. The only reason I come out is because of him. You hurt and make a fool of him, you're doing the same to me.

So don't be surprised if you never or rarely see me after this, because I have lost absolutely any interest of ever seeing your ridiculous mocking faces ever again. poof.

***this post is only dedicated to certain insensitive idiots. I think they know who they are.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Episode 2

This pakcik guard memang tak habis2 tau.

Today, my husband left early because he had a meeting, so I had to hitch a ride with a friend. I came down to wait for her, and the minute I got out of the lift, I came face to face with the guard.

Remember him? I wrote about him in this post. Anyway, I ignored him and went over to sit at the chairs in the lobby to wait for my friend. I did notice, however, that there was another guard there. I heard them talking, quite loudly, but I couldn't be arsed to eavesdrop lah, takde kerja.

And then, the other guard came walking past, and guess what? he was giving me this god-awful sneer. The whole time. Then he looked back at the original asshole pakcik and smiled.

Conclusion: The pakcik on the never-ending donkey which he thinks is a high horse must've said something about me.

Bravo, self-righteous arses. You've succeeded in ruining a portion of my morning, but let me tell you, you haven't ruined my Friday, because you know what? I've done nothing wrong. Suka hati lah kau nak cakap aku apa pun. Aku tau aku tak salah.

Sure, you can say that I'm paranoid, and maybe I am. But I do know that when someone sneers at you like that, it's not an accident. And when they actually exchange smirk looks, something IS going on.

But whatever.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Make a Decision and Don't Look Back.

It's like I'm in the middle of a raging river. One foot is on a sturdy, large rock right smack in the middle of the flow of water. My other foot is on another rock, equally strong, equally sturdy and yet, my body is turned towards a small, seemingly frail bit of stone barely within my reach.

I want to get on that stone for some reason. The sturdy rocks are calling me back, promising security and comfort, and yet there I am, reaching for that stone, and at the same time, unwilling to get my feet off those secure rocks. I want everything. I want to be safe from the raging waters. I don't want to fall in and drown, and yet I want that excitement. That risk. That adrenaline rush of almost tipping over the edge, but not quite.

And so I stubbornly keep my feet planted firmly on the rocks, but I still reach for that elusive tiny little plot of stone, shining, glimmering with the reflection of the water on it.

I am selfish.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Q: What is the price of someone's dignity, according to local laws?

A: 6 month's jail and RM2k fine!

Hilarious tak?

Tak kan? That's cuz it's not a joke.

And it's even less hilarious when you read this.

Every single day, I wonder what the world is coming to?

Monday, July 20, 2009

I Wanna Grow Old With You

Warning: Before you read on, let me warn you that this will be a VERY lovey dovey type of post. If you cannot stomach public displays of affection, I suggest you skip this one. :)

Anyway, moving on...

The first time I watched "The Wedding Singer", I heard that song he sang for her on the plane. Even though it was a little silly, it still sounded so sincere and sweet.

Although I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching chick flicks, I do know that fairytale romances only happen, well, in fairytales. The reality of it is that while you do fall in love and meet the person you're destined to be with for the rest of your life, things don't really work out like those happy endings do.

Happy endings are overrated, of course. You think Cinderella lived happily ever after? Not likely. I'm sure she and Prince Charming got into tiffs every now and then. I'm sure Snow White and her Prince each had pet peeves which annoyed them about each other.

For some couples, those pet peeves will probably annoy them for the rest of their lives. But it's how you deal with it that counts.

I get annoyed with my husband's flatulence. Or his tendency to burp out loud. Or his penchant for making parodies out of any song he chooses, even if it ruins a favourite song of mine. Or the fact that he leaves his jeans right where he takes it off after we get home from somewhere.

I'm pretty sure he gets annoyed with the fact that after I come out of the bathroom, I never shut the door. Or that I refuse to be the one to shut off the bedroom lights at night, even though he's already snug in bed. Or that my sinus problems means that every morning, he will wake up with a wad of tissues under his body.

But then that's me. And that's him. It's who we are, and though we have tiffs about it now and then, we both know that these aspects of us are things that we cannot change about each other.

So whenever he suddenly burps extra loud or butchers my favourite song to bits, I think about the things he does which I love him for. How, every morning, without fail, he would wake up, turn to me and I would automatically fit myself into his oh-so comfy arms and we would snooze until the last moment to wake up. How he wakes up first just so that I can get a few minutes of extra sleep. How, when I doubt myself and start questioning my worth as a wife, he kisses me and tells me that I'm the perfect one for him. How he looks at me with those light brown eyes which make me jealous and smile at me in that special way I know he reserves only for me. How he tries to solve things for me everytime, even though he knows that I will eventually be able to do it without his help.

You may wonder what came about this post. I was reading through Post Secret and I came across this:

It's really one of the sweetest posts I've ever seen on the website. One thing's for sure, I want to be like this couple. Well, I don't really want to piss all over the toilet seat, but I do want to grow old with my husband. God willing, I will.

“ … in the end, its these small things that you remember … little imperfections that make them perfect for you.” -Yasmin Ahmad's Eulogy

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Of Random Strangers and Kind Hearts.

To you, I am fickle.
To you, I'm not worth it.
And for one silly little moment,
My heart dropped
And I believed you.

To you, I'm a waste of time,
To you, I'm weak.
To you, I don't deserve a fighting chance
And for just a second
I believed it.

But then they came in the midst of my weak moment.
They found me while I was down,
Panting and sobbing from the dirt you had kicked me down in
Dirty and dishevelled
Cold and disheartened.

And they picked me up.

Cleaned me up.

Restored my faith

And gave me back my dreams.

And now it's you who's not worth it.
It's you who's fickle.
It was you who was a waste of my time
It's you who's weak.

But you still deserve a fighting chance
Because you don't know the most important thing about me:

I am nothing like you.

Friday, July 10, 2009

A Day in the Life of...

I'm trying to find a company that provides rental of ICT stuff. I find one online, and proceed to call the number in order to get more information

Bored sounding woman: Hello. ****.

Me: Hi, I'm calling in in order to find out about your EQUIPMENT rental service. Could you connect me to someone who's in charge of that?

Woman: We don't do equipment rentals. We only do (main service. I cannot write it down here because it'd be too obvious which company this is from)

Me: But your website says you do ICT rentals?

Woman (in a tone which clearly sounds like she thinks I'm an idiot): OOOOHHH.. ICT Rental. Kejap, I sambung u to ***

Oh. My. God. Really?

Even IF la. IF la kan, you don't associate the word "EQUIPMENT" with "ICT", shouldn't the word "RENTAL" tip you off?

Customer service these days. Tsk.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Old friends (and new)

On Saturday, I had to go to Terengganu to send my little sister back to college. Imagine how worried I was that we wouldn't be able to meet up with our dear friends who were coming back from Paris...

Thankfully, on Sunday, we managed to make it back to KL just in time to meet up with them at IKEA. As expected, Eleen said I was 'sihat' hoho. Dah lama tak jumpa lidah macam terkelu kejap. And then I saw who they had in the pram and I started squealing. Hehe.

Eva was adorable. Dengan mata bulat dia, and her cute little antics (nak bukak kasut, playing with bubbles in her mouth, biting on Sophie). But the poor little girl was really tired and cranky so macam tak berani nak main2 dengan dia sangat.

Our whole group still had a great time with them. :)

But then towards the end when we were taking group pictures, ada la pulak pakcik guard yang dengki tak kasi amik... Just when we got to my camera pulak tu.. Oh well..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My face is Lucky!

Today, a fortune teller came to my office. I happened to be the one who opened the door. Maybe he was right, maybe I am 'lucky'.

He gave me a card and said "You have a very lucky face. Very lucky. But you are a dreamer"

Without giving me a chance to say anything, he says "There will be a big change for you, coming soon. On the 8th of August. Opportunity will come knocking at your door, you must not be asleep when it happens"

"Give me a pen and paper. I will write down for you everything you want to know, including about your love life. I will write down whether your boyfriend is serious about you"

I smiled and just said no thanks.

What I really wanted to say was "if you really were a fortune teller, you'd know that I'm married". :)


Sometimes, I don't understand women, though I am one myself. Love plays a big part in most women's life, as does mine. What I don't understand is how some women can let love dominate completely without thinking of what the consequences may be.

I've come across so many cases of women letting their significant others do with them as they please, and claiming to be in love with them anyway. Some examples:

Case one:
They've been together for a few years. They've broken up a few times, mostly initiated by the guy, who tells others that he is bored of her. Yet, they get back together again and again. He comes and goes as he pleases. He calls her when he is feeling lonely and orders (bukan requests ye, ORDERS) her to go away when he doesn't feel like hanging out with her. She stays anyway, because she thinks that no one else will want her.

Case two:
He is cheating on her with someone else. Friends have told her this, and yet she refuses to believe them, claiming that they're trying to break up a beautiful relationship.

Case three:
He cheated on her three times. She took him back again and again, although she KNOWS this guy is not to be trusted. Friends told her to leave and she said "Easier said than done. I love him". Finally in her most desperate hour, right when she needed him the most, he abandons her and asks another guy to help her out. Now she's in love with the other guy and the cheating arse decides to come back and try to ruin her life by trying to claim her back. She regrets the four years she was with this asshole.

Case four:
He beats her up, makes her do his laundry even though he's living with his mother and refuses to see her when he doesn't feel like it. Often times, she comes to work with thick makeup on because of the bruises.

Case five:
She's working, he's not. He refuses to get a job, and when he does, can never keep it for more than a week, max. She gives him money for food. He mooches off friends as well, staying at their place without paying rent and finishing up their food. They plan to get married.

Case six:
He's a known philanderer, she's a university student. They've slept together a few times. She got pregnant, tells him it's his. He stops seeing her. She goes psycho. One day, he calls her up and asks her to go on a trip with him, promising that he had changed and wanted to make things better for the three of them (plus the baby). She gets excited, goes with him, gets anal raped and suffers a miscarriage. He posts naked pictures of her on facebook, dumps her and gets on with the next conquest.

Why do these women stay around men like these? It's not like they can't find another man out there who can treat them heaps better. I say it's selfishness. I know. It's ironic, right? They think they're sacrificing for the one they love, and yet, I think they're just selfish.

Do they think about the fact that they're worrying the people who REALLY love them? Family? Close friends? No.

They only think about how much they love this guy and how THEY can't live without HIM. How, without HIM, they won't be able to find someone else.

And they're totally wrong.

If they'd only stop thinking of themselves for maybe a few minutes, they'll see that life has so much more to offer. Love has so much more to offer than a lifetime of disappointments, missed dates, wasted money, physical and emotional bruises and heartache.

If you're a girl and something in this post rings a bell, then maybe you're one of those girls who got themselves caught up in this situation. The guy is not worth it, trust me.

If you're a guy and you feel angry at me for writing this post, then maybe you're one of 'those' guys who mistreat your significant others. Maybe you should stop breaking her heart and become a better man for her before it's too late.

Before she finds someone a hundred times better and decides to move on. Before you realise that you just lost the greatest gift life has ever given you.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kita Semua Rakyat Malaysia kan?

A friend of mine, who has his own company, is working on a project to train fresh graduates. The course is intensive, they have to attend it for a few months, at the end of which they'll be rewarded with a certificate and job placement.

The package includes free training, allowance and lodgings, which, in my opinion, is awesome. Lately, this friend has been consulting my husband and I, regarding some issues he has been facing in his attempt to provide lodgings for these soon-to-be trainees.

In one conundrum, he asked us whether Malays minded rooming with other Malays. Being open-minded about this kinda thing, we replied that personally, we wouldn't. It shouldn't be a problem, as long as the roomies respect each other's religions and practices. Upon enquiring why the question came up, he told us that a girl, who he had attempted to place in a room with a non-malay, requested to change rooms, quoting "prayers" as a reason. Either the non-malay will drop dead as soon as she starts praying or she is incapable of performing her prayers on her own.

Another time, he asked us if it was ok to put a malay girl in a guy filled apartment, claiming that she was open-minded and that she would have her own room. We were horrified, because we assumed that everyone knew the rule that an unmarried muslim woman and a man are not allowed to live in the same house, unless she was married to him. Of course, he apologized and quickly withdrew his intent to do such a thing.

He told us about these few girls, who refused to let another girl (last minute entry) into their apartment because they claimed it was too full. Each room had 3 people, and although the master bedroom was big enough to actually house 4, they didn't want to accept someone else into the house.

Hello? Banyak demand pulak. It's only for a few months for goodness' sake, and you're getting this free! AND you're getting money for it AND a job placement! If you don't want it, there are hundreds more out there, hoping for this valuable chance. Get your cerewet ass out and make room for those who would appreciate it more lah. Lempang nanti baru tau.

And then there was the case about some family members coming down from god-knows-where to visit their child who was part of the programme. They apparently inquired what race was living with their child, to which my friend replied 'Why?', as in, 'Why do you want to KNOW, arses? Does it even freaking matter who the heck this person lives with for a few months, as long as they're not robbers, rapists or murderers?'. My friend admitted that the question had very negative racial connotations to it, and I absolutely agree.

I think he was really shocked with the fact that these people cared so much about 'who lives with who', simply because our group of friends are a pretty laidback, interracial bunch. He's even thinking about having some kind of gathering to promote harmony between the group. I say put them in one room and get someone to slap the silly out of them. What ungrateful little wretches.

Lift Robbers

Apparently, nowadays, you need a weapon (pepperspray, where do I get pepperspray?) for the mere act of entering a lift!

Seriously, what is the world coming to? These men, no, wait, they don't deserve to be called men. These ASSHOLES, look perfectly healthy to me. Perfectly capable of getting jobs, and yet they pray on poor, unsuspecting young women?

If you happen to come across this blog and recognize these assholes, please report them. We don't need creeps like these walking around under the sun, free as birds to do as they bloody well please.

Kesian la kat family diorang ni. Susah2 raise anak macam menatang minyak penuh, lepas tu anak jadi macam SETAN! I hope they never get married or start breeding, because they'll have offsprings who would probably be ASHAMED of their amazingly assholic dads.

How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse: What my Husband Taught Me

I watch a lot of zombie movies. Everytime after, (since I always get scared everytime), my husband quizzes me on what I would do should there be a zombie apocalypse. Well, here's what I learnt:

1.First things first, find an easily defensible position, but one which has at least one escape route. A great place would be somewhere high so that you have a good vantage point. You need a gun and LOADS of bullets in case any zombie comes your way. THis would also be a good point to see if there are any survivors that might be able to help you out.

2.Please do not hole up in a shopping mall. Shopping malls in Malaysia, by default, all have sliding doors, try defending that. Besides, you really don't want some zombie jumping out at you from some dark, obscure corner.

3.Identify type of zombie. Are they traditional (slow, slurry, somewhat comical in their effort to eat your brains) or new age (can actually run, pounce, and climb, but still have trouble with opening doors)? This will help you determine how to dispose of them, and if you can run away, and potentially not have any zombies right on your tail. The fast ones are a bit tricky. You're probably gonna have to make sure they're indisposed before you make your escape.

3.Regardless of type of zombie, they transfer the virus/curse through bites, so dress properly. Those turtlenecks and hoodies come in handy right about now. And those gloves. And those stockings. Cover up!

4.Aim for the head! Don't need advanced weaponry to take out zombies.

5.Find a group of people with variety of skills. Someone who can hotwire a car? great! It'll help you escape and find a sanctuary. Someone who can make bombs? Even better! hehe..

6. If there's an asshole in the group, kill him.

7. If it's hard on your conscience, push him into a zombie bite, wait for him to turn into a zombie, then kill him. Trust me, it's for the better, because he will inevitably turn on you or make life harder for you EXACTLY when you least expect it.

8. Drench yourself in mud before you sleep. Zombies can't smell, or sense your heat then.

9. Find a lorry. Put a cow in it, with lots of food, and some chickens. These will be your suppliers of food.

10.Find a few goats. Scapegoats. Bwahahaha.
Also, identify sleepwalkers in your group, and make sure they sleep during the day

11.And for goodness sakes, if a slow-walking zombie comes after you, please don't do the idiot thing and start whimpering. Run! They're slower than you. And by running, I don't mean sobbing hysterically, turning back to see how close it is and stumbling over everything/ Just run and don't look back until you're in a safe place. Better yet, if you have a gun, shoot the damn thing in the head!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

So true...

I saw this among my friend's pictures on facebook. I guess it calls out to me at this moment in time, because of how I'm feeling. This is for me, and G, and anyone else who's going through unnecessary stress due to what life is throwing at us.

I used to think that these kind of people didn't exist in my life. Now I know that I'm wrong. One of them is about to make a huge transition, something we all hope she will change her mind about, but will be there for her nevertheless.

Hafiz, if you chance upon this blog, I saw this and I just had to post it up. Credits to you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

New Old Books

I just got new (for me, old for someone else) books for wayyy cheap. RM10 each, thanks to a colleague of my husband's who decided to sell off some of his old books.. Can't wait to read them, but here's hoping that I have the time.. :(

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Irresponsible Shoppers

In my opinion, there are certain "rules" or courtesy in everything we do. Even something simple like shopping, for example, come with a set of unwritten norms that anyone with half a brain should be able to figure out. I guess maybe we (I?) live in a culture where not many people have even that.

Today, I decided to meet up with one of my best friends, someone I haven't had a chance to catch up with in a while. I decided to take a trip to Shah Alam and have lunch with her. We went to the Giant in Section 13, since it was really close to her workplace. I picked her up, and we just did our stuff.

I decided to leave at about 6.00, when her boyfriend had come to join us. I got into my car, started reversing, wondering why the heck my car sensors were beeping like crazy, since there was no car behind me, and heard a very soft, dull "thud".

Horrified, I got out of the car, convinced that I had hit a little girl or boy who had, for some reason, run across the parking lot behind my car without me noticing. Guess what I found? A SHOPPING CART.

Some COLOSSAL IDIOT thought it was a brilliant idea, after grocery shopping, to place their empty grocery cart BEHIND my car. I came from the front, so I never noticed that there was something there.

Seriously la. Have some freaking common sense, PLEASE.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Of Michael and Maids

I woke up today and found out the news that the biggest pop star in the world has passed away. He apparently had a heart attack. He was 50. He was the first pop star I ever had a crush on as a little girl, and he was a legend, before he screwed up his life with a few huge mistakes. May he rest in peace.

Today's The Star wrote about how Jakarta was stopping the export of maids due to the influx of abuse complaints by those already here. The government recently announced that they wanted to enforce that maids get one day of rest a month.

I happen to have mixed feelings about this. I have had a few experiences, as a child, with maids. Some were trustworthy and really very good. One of them complained to my mother that a neighbour's maid was trying to persuade her to run off and work with another employer. My mom, obviously, was furious that this busybody was trying to disrupt our peaceful lives. Our maid, at that time, was obviously one of the more trustworthy ones. We still keep in contact with some of our old maids, they did good all those years while I was growing up.

The not-so-trustworthy ones, we had cases of also. One tried to come on to my dad. Another was sneaking out to meet construction workers from her own country, for some reason, forgetting the fact that she had a husband and kids at home.

So I've had my share of good and bad maids. On one hand, I worry that with this enforcement, the maids will meet more people outside and get influenced into doing something bad. Some of them are very young girls, barely touching adulthood and have never experienced life outside of their own villages.

On the other hand, of course, I am very aware that these people are humans. They're not slaves. They don't deserve to be beaten up, or locked in. They don't deserve to sit on the floor with no food while the family has a huge dinner (my husband says he saw this in a restaurant once). They deserve equal treatment. They're employees. If we can come to work and be nice to our employees in the office, why is it so difficult to do the same with the one at home?

So the enforcement is really a double-edged sword.

As for those people who decided to abuse their maids, shame on them. Maybe THEIR employers should do the same to them so they'd know how it feels.

These people are miles and miles away from home. They left their families behind in order to provide for them. They're sacrificing so much so that their loved ones would have a better life. Is it too much to ask to treat them nicely so that they at least decrease their loneliness in this strange foreign country?

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I got a call yesterday. I also received some news yesterday. Combined, these two makes me feel more conflicted than I ever was, even though I really thought I had resolved some things. I seriously hope that in the end, I make the right decision.

Girl Admits to Have Asked for the 56 Stars on her Face

Okay, I have to let this out before I say anything more, but, seriously, what a brat!

For those of you who don't know the news, a teenage girl went to a tattoo parlour to have stars tattooed on her face. 56 of them. Obviously, she looks like a freak, went home and her father hits the ceiling.

What does she do? She freaks out and tells everyone that she fell asleep during the process and woke up with those 56 stars on her face. She claimed that she had only asked for three and vowed to sue the tattooist for inflicting the hideous stars onto her face.

The tattooist, of course, in self defence, claimed that she HAD asked for all 56 stars and was wide awake during the whole process, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Since she was an unsatisfied customer, he offered to pay for half of the cost of the surgery to get those stars removed.

Guess what? The girl just came out with a statement, admitting that, she, indeed, asked for 56 stars and not 3. The reason she lied was because her father freaked out.

Obviously, the tattooist withdrew the offer to pay for removal of those infamous stars.

Padan muka, and seriously la, learn to take responsibility for your own stupidity, please. Menyusahkan orang lain aje.

In case you feel like reading the rest of the article and seeing the picture of the little idiot, click here.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

To Whom It May Concern Number Two

Yes, I know you've been here. I know you searched for my blog. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Just please keep things professional. Currently, I have no intentions of actually making it private but if I have to, I will.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Of Freudian Slips

Overheard in a mamak.

This is a conversation between a girl and someone who's probably her boyfriend.

Girl: (Complains about work)

Boy: They're all dicks la.

Girl: Actually, my colleagues are fine. They wouldn't have said anything. It was just my boss.

Boy: Then he has a big dick.


Girl: Ermm.. You do realise that...

Boy: (Interrupts) I meant IS! He IS a big dick! I know! That was Freudian slip! Now let's put it ALLL behind us...

(Another silence)

Boy: (palm face) and THAT was another slip...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Something happened recently. I can't say what it is here since it's too personal, but you know when you watch continuing tv series telenovelas and stuff like that?

A huge villain or troublemaker comes around and disrupts everyone's lives and everybody has to work hard to get through all the trouble that he/she makes? All the conflict and the heartache and the pain. Well, usually, on tv, at some point, the conflict gets resolved and they managed to drive away the bad force that has made a chaos out of their lives.

But then when everything is good and well, obviously, tv-land needs controversy and excitement to survive, and suddenly, the villain comes back and throws everything into mayhem again.

This is what is happening for me. Again. I remember how weak I was when I had to go through this before. How much I felt like running away, and how CLOSE I actually was to surrendering and doing exactly what this thing wanted me to do. How close I was to throwing away everything I had just to let go of the pain it caused me.

I hope that this time around, I'm stronger and that I face this with more maturity than I did the last time. I need to, because I can't guarantee how far it will go this time.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Blood: The Last Vampire

As you can see, I didn't even bother putting up a picture here.

The movie sucks. Corny script, HORRIBLE acting from ALL directions, lame-ass CGI, even lamer-assed storyline.

It RIVALS Twilight in ghastliness. Trust me, don't spend your hard-earned money on this flick. Try something else.


What is it with Vampire movies and lame-ness anyway?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pure Inhumanity - Please Don't Buy Fur

I thought I had seen the worse of human nature, what with the recent abuse of a maid and the shootings of several people praying in a mosque.

I realise that until I saw this video, I had not seen ANYTHING. Heard of, yes. Read about, yes, every day.

My husband had warned me that this video was graphic and that it was going to affect me strongly, but I was convinced that I had a strong stomach and that whatever it was, I could take it. I was wrong. I cried and vomited my guts out afterwards.

This is a link to a PETA video about human cruelty to animals.

If you have a weak stomach or heart, please don't watch it.

Innocent animals are raised for their fur. When they are finally ready, these monsters in humans' clothing bludgeon them with hard objects, or even bash them to the ground and stomp on them so that their backs break.

The worse part is that some of these animals survive the bludgeoning, and are SKINNED ALIVE.

In the video, an animal (possibly a raccoon) which has been skinned, is shown still moving, IN A DAZE.

All this for the fur.

How inhumane can people get, just to look pretty?

I beseech you, if you're reading this, please stop buying fur, and, if possible, spread the word and tell someone else about how cruel the acts are.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Writer's Block

I am extremely tired all the time, harbouring wishes and fantasies of doing something else which I NEVER thought I would even think of doing, despite the fact that I love my job...

Confusion and fatigue equals writer's block.

I shall get back to writing here when I finally have something I feel like writing about.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Emotional Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity. The very word means that whoever committing the act is CHEATING on their significant other. A lot of people fail to recognise the signs, or, simply, refuse to acknowledge them in an attempt to fool themselves into thinking they are doing no harm to anyone.

Well, they're wrong. Infidelity of the emotions is every bit as harmful as physical infidelity. Worse, in fact. There are, in reality, three forms of cheating. Infidelity which involves only emotions, one that is purely physical and nothing else, and one that is a mix of both. Needless to say, when someone is already in a mix of both, then they've already landed themselves in trouble.

The symptoms are basically similar everytime. You tell this person your problems. He/She is the first person you think of when you're in trouble. You talk and have a lot of chemistry, and you have hidden feelings for him/her and is sure he/she reciprocates. You go out for drinks and movies and meals and you tell yourself that it is totally harmless, totally platonic. And yet, deep down, you sometimes wish that this was your significant other. Not your current boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.

If you are experiencing the above, then, congratulations (or NOT), you are emotionally cheating.

Emotional infidelity always seems to fall into a grey area. You're not sleeping with the person, you just enjoy his/her company, sometimes more than you do your significant other. So a lot of people don't consider it cheating.

Consider this: You have feelings for this person. You wish he/she were your significant other. You think of this person more than you think of your loved one.

as opposed to:

You sleep with this person purely for sex, nothing else. No feelings. You just wanna have fun, but you are deeply in love with your significant other.

A lot of people would say the latter is more harmful. In reality, they're both equally bad.

It's like this. My husband once told me about a recent X-Men comic he read.

For those of you unfamiliar with X-men, they are a bunch of mutants with superpowers, mind control and such. Among them are Cyclops and his wife, Jean Grey (a powerful telepath)

I may have the context slightly wrong, but this is something along the lines of how the story goes. Jean tries to find her husband with her telepathy one day, but he is nowhere to be found. There is one more character in the comics called Emma Frost, who is basically a slut. Jean's intuitions finally lead her to Emma's mind, where, she finally finds her husband.

It doesn't sound that bad, does it?

Not until you take into account that the scene Jean Grey sees (as portrayed in the comics) in Emma Frost's mind is that of Emma and Cyclops in bed together, naked.

Put two and two together, and it's clear that although there are a lot of people who think emotional infidelity is innocent, many others, like me, have the strong opinion that when you're forming emotional ties with someone else who is NOT your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you are, essentially, committing ADULTERY OF THE MIND.

You're only hurting yourself and the ones you supposedly love.

Think about it.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Big Day is Here

As I am typing this, I should be rushing around to get ready.

Today marks the day that I will be walking up that stage in order to receive my 4 years worth of hard-earned degree. Most of my friends will be up there with me, Alhamdulillah.

I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I am definitely proud of myself, that I managed to get through all the pain, the HUGE DRAMAS and all the obstacles.

On the other hand, it makes me slightly sad to finally, officially, leave a place that I've called home for four years.

To everyone graduating with me today, congratulations.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Heartfelt Confession

I want my own child.

And there you have it, my confession. For some reason, my body clock has been ticking incessantly lately. Seeing some of my friends' and my boss' adorable little munchkins has me wanting one of my own, despite the fact that my brain is screaming, no, HOLLERING to me that I am nowhere near ready to take that leap.

I've made excuses and justifications as to why I simply cannot start a family now, but I am tired of denying what I really want, which is a child of my own. My husband and I have discussed this issue over and over again until we're both blue in the face and completely exhausted at how the conversation centers around the same reasons and excuses and how much the both of us want to take the next step. The fact still remains, however, that we can't.

I know very well that a lot of people are excited to have little Epols/Zurins running around, myself most of all. My wants seem so strong that everytime I see someone else's baby, I get the urge to tear up and cry, something very dangerous since I've been visiting a lot of newborns lately.

I'm waiting for the day that people will be visiting my own. We've made plans that I would have my first when I turn 27 (slightly earlier if we manage to fulfill our dreams before then). My heart aches at the prospect of having to wait three whole years for it, but for now, it will have to do.

Until then, I hope my friends won't mind if I share just a little bit of their pride and joy until I manage to fill that void.

Wake-Up Call

Sometimes, people misunderstand intentions. Even someone who is closest to you and knows you more than anyone else in the world can misconstrue what your true meaning is.

Sometimes, people refuse to see the facts. They only see things at face value and don't bother going beyond that. Just like an auto focus function on a camera that blurs everything else out of the focus point, they only see what they want to see, even if that means looking through a dirty lens.

Sometimes, people say stupid things that get passed on and hurt the people that love them. Moronic, callus, ego-driven statements that are equivalents to slaps in the face.

Sometimes, they can't take it back even if they wanted to.

Because unlike those pictures taken with the dirty lens, the image imprinted onto the hearts of the people involved can never be erased, deleted or torn up.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Facebook Friends = Real Life Friends? I Think Not

We've all had this issue before. In fact, Black Mouse blogged about it in her latest post, and it certainly got me thinking. I've been pretty lax about approving friends of facebook. Too lax, in fact. I looked through my friends list and I realised that I have nothing in common with some of the people I have on my list of 'friends'.

Some people think that their only responsibility in keeping in touch with others is by adding them on facebook, full stop. Yet, when they run into each other, they act like they don't know each other AT ALL. What irks me is the fact that when I went to a friend's wedding, some of these facebook friends of mine actually had the gall to turn their noses up at me when I spoke to them, a la "who the heck do you think you are talking to me?". Sad and completely annoying, especially since we were at a mutual location (i.e: not a run into kind of situation, but something that both parties were invited to). The worse part is, of course, the fact that I went to school with some of these people, and we were friends. Sekarang macam "Aku tak kenal ko lah. Tapi aku nak add dalam facebook. But don't expect me to tegur you when we bump into each other, sebab, biatch, i am WAAAYYY out of your league" camtu.

Some justify their trigger-happy friends-adding antics by calling it 'networking'. That's pretty much bullshit because the last time I asked for help from my so-called 'network' on facebook, I got a total of 4 responses. I am really grateful to those who actually bothered, but I am VERY sure I tagged a LOT of people on that particular desperate note. So, nope, networking my ass.

So I decided it was time for a de-cluttering. I spring-cleaned my friends list, and if you're not on it, obviously I don't find you important enough to keep in touch/ 'network' with. Admittedly, I still have some ways to go before TOTALLY clearing up my list for those who really matter, but I'm getting there.

No, like a lot of people say, I am not sombong. I am not stuck up. Bukan. The only reason this is happening is because I do not see the point of having a thousand and one people on my list and only really keep in touch with maybe 50. So if the only reason I am being added onto yours is so that you can keep me tucked away in a little corner in a dust-gathering competition with a hundred of other people, I suggest you do the same and un-include me. :)

A Fun and Exhausting Day

Yesterday, my friends and I had to collect our convocation robes and sit through about an hour of rehearsals for the big day. This hardly seems like a day to look forward to, but it was for us because a certain mamat from Kedah had travelled all the way back to KL for the occassion.

Needless to say, he had all of us in stitches the minute we were all assembled.

After the rehearsal, being camwhores, we decided to display our robes in full glory and take pictures in front of the reception hall. We practically hogged the backdrop, kesian kakak2 yang tunggu nak ambik gambar tu. Lol. I will post some pictures here soon, tapi tak nak letak now because takut takde ong for the big day nanti (read: malas), but they'll come soon, I promise.

Anyway, after that, we hung out at the new KFC in section 2 for hours and just talked and caught up with each other. I seriously miss those gossip/laugh-our-ass-off sessions. And yet there were a few people missing, sorang kat Philippines, sorang kat Paris, sorang couldn't make it but oh well, we take what we can get, huh?

So tonight, we've made plans to go see the second Night at the Museum movie at SUnway Pyramid.. Can't wait. :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

A License to Shoot Idiots on Sight Would be GREAT.

Professionalism, by definition, means the conduct, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession or a professional person. Definition taken from here.

This, Mr FANTASTIC, as you apparently so angkat bakul sendiri-ishly like to refer to yourself, is apparently LOST to your good self.

When you promise something done in a PROFESSIONAL setting, you DO it. For example "I will hand this proposal over to you, TODAY". You do NOT go MIA for the rest of the day, get your friend to call the person you said this sentence to at the end of the day, RIGHT before quitting time, to explain that you had to run errands SINCE LUNCH and have not been able to get back at the office. Fair enough. Errands. Okay.

What you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT do, is get your friend to promise that you'll hand it in by the next day and still be MIA on said day until 11 o'clock, and at which point, when the person who is waiting patiently, with her ASS on the line, for the proposal which she had completed her part A WEEK AGO, calls in order to ask you where the FUCK your ass is, NOT ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!!!

Memang rasa nak tembak ok mamat ni. Seriously. Dahla menyorok belakang kawan. Excuses sampai sejuta, AND takde guts nak pegi explain kat boss sendiri, AKUU jugak yang kena tepek muka depan boss buat muka kesian.

The boss is not a charity case ok? Banyak2 kali aku terpacak kat office dia with my pathetic face, nanti he will get bosan and feel like firing me. AKU yang kena kan babiiii? Tau tak geram tu ape? Geram tu is my state of mind right now.

Call tak angkat.

You are NOT a kid anymore. This is NOT the university where you can extend deadline banyak2 kali and the lecturer still terima sebab tak nak jawab to his/her superiors. BUKAN. Kalau aku yang fresh grad convo pon belum ni boleh faham, kenapa kau tak boleh?????

*update: 11.31 on my clock.Still no sign, still not answering his phone.

**ohmigod, he's 29. Ingat fresh grad jugak. dah tua bangka rupenye takreti2 lagi?

*** Yes, I can be an obsessive compulsive

****update: it is now 2.00 pm, I am reaching boiling point, batang hidung tak nampak, still not answering his phone.

Of Convocations and Loved Ones

Yesterday, my little sister had her convocation at the same place that I will be having mine. I couldn't attend. Firstly, I wasn't an invitee (only two places) and secondly, I had work. I am not confirmed yet, and although I'm allowed to take leave, I'm not comfortable with taking more than one day off for my own convocation next week.

Today, she told me a really sad story. Apparently, one of the graduates had passed on, and yesterday, arwah's mother got up on stage to receive the scroll on their behalf. I thought it was so brave of her to go up there, to see all those other graduates happily receiving their own scrolls, to watch them hugging and taking pictures with their own parents. How she must've seen her son/daughter everywhere, wishing so badly that she was that mom hugging her son/daughter. Or that parent, taking a picture of her child in full convo regalia.

I feel so blessed to still be here. To still have my parents here. To be able to see their proud faces as I step onto that stage. I feel blessed to have such wonderful friends who are graduating along with me, and to have those wishing me well and being happy for me from afar.

I listened to the story of the mother who was so proud of her child that she just had to come and receive that scroll, even though seeing everyone else so happy would break her heart, and I am humbled. Because everything we have could be dragged out from under our feet in an instance, just with a blink.

And yes, I am extremely proud of my little sister, Sharina, and wish that I could have been there to see her up on that stage.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I never get tired of looking at this...

Yes, I know a lot of people have graduated before, and I'm obviously not the pioneer of all degrees first class, but it's my pride and joy. It's something I never thought I would get (although admittedly, I failed to achieve something else I was pretty sure I would get, due to some technicality, which explains the two stars instead of three)

But yeah.

I worked hard for four years to get this, and I believe I'm entitled to little bit of narcissism and a whole lot of pride.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

We're all adults here

Sometimes, when that time of the month finally arrives, I feel a whole lot of relief...
....and just a little smidgen, just a pang of disappointment.


Ok, those of you out there, please don't kill me ok? This is me, memang mengada-ngada..

I have this urge to teach!!!! I mean, I LOVE writing and I still want to be a proper writer some day, tapiiiii, tiba2 I feel this urge to teach again. Granted my stint was ridiculously short and kinda forced upon me but I do remember the good times and I really feel like going back la...

Kenapa ni la, ish. I mean, I have a perfectly awesome job and a very cool boss but kepala hotak ni sengaja je. I guess it's true what they say, that we'll never be satisfied with what we have kan?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Getting Older

On Saturday, my high-school friend Baya and I decided to pay a visit to new mommy Shaline. Due to certain 'pantang' and whatnot, I couldn't take pictures of her and her one month old baby boy, but let me assure you, he is absolutely gorgeous.

The baby was born after only 6 months of pregnancy, making him 3 whole months premature. Needless to say, a lot of his organs hadn't fully developed yet and Shaline had a lot of difficulties during the first month. I'm not going to mention the incidents here, but what happened would make any mother cry if it happened to her own helpless, innocent little child.

The worst thing is that some "aunties" who claim to have had more experiences and think they are wiser than anyone else ask rude, intruding questions like "Hmm.. Are you SURE he's premature?". Bodoh la. Tak ke patah hati mak orang ko cakap anak dia camtu? What are you implying? That she got married out of wedlock? Tak nampak baby tu kecik gila, rambut and kening belum ada lagi, siap masuk incubator semua? What is wrong with people nowadays? Kalau tak buruk sangka tu memang tak sah kan?

Anyway, listening to her story, I felt sad and slightly wistful. Obviously looking at her baby got my maternal instincts all ticking like a timebomb, but I remember how we were in school, skipping class, (yep, I skipped class with the class monitor) having loads of fun with her. I look at her now, all matured and I can hardly believe I'm looking at the same childish-sounding girl I was good friends with in school. Time really does fly, doesn't it?


A few months ago, I had a job where I hated the work but adored the people. They were friendly, really really nice and they were THERE for you, especially if you're the newbie. I always had help, and even the superiors (minus one) were nice and didn't really cause any heartache. The job sucked though, and I went to work day after day, dreading what else the news was going to bring. Political catastrophes, financial mayhem, social pollution, you name it, I saw it, covered it and felt like killing someone.

Here, it's the total opposite. I love my job. I get to write a lot, do a lot of new things and my learning curve is sky-high. And yet there's something missing. Being in a company where 80% are men means I only have one other female colleague. We have nothing in common. Not to say she isn't nice. She's a sweetheart, in fact. We just have nothing in common. Oh, and men can be total bitches too. Especially certain men in high positions who think they're better than anyone else.

I seriously wonder which is better now. Career advancement (that might not even happen because of the bitchiness), or having great friends (I say friends, no colleagues for a reason) to come to work with.

I realise that office politics happen anywhere. Everywhere I go I WILL meet pathetic bitches who need to measure their worth by putting other people down. I just wish I had the courage to stand up for myself when untruths are being said about me and what I do.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Whatever, Mr Clean

The story behind my facebook status.

Ask and you shall receive..