tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8318509232205890172024-02-21T04:14:26.050+08:00Blank PagesNever be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
-Harvey Fierstein-Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.comBlogger341125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-64125538060236972522016-03-25T23:18:00.002+08:002016-03-25T23:18:44.700+08:00Of mothersYesterday, I texted the husband and at 2pm and told him I was already knackered. My mornings are usually spent making sure Ilyas is bathed, fed and happy, and preparing lunch for both of them and myself before kakak gets home. It's not that simple when the 10mo is screaming for attention all the time though.
Kakak gets home at noon, at which point I make sure she uses the bathroom, get her Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-53832649694923029552015-06-14T16:36:00.001+08:002016-03-15T18:46:28.526+08:00Birthing Ilyas and My Second Experience at Pantai Hospital KLHello!
It's been a while, obviously. I'm a mommy of two now, Alhamdulillah. It's been 40 tiring, sleep-deprived, anxiety-and-stress-driven, hormonal 40 days and I am finally free of my confinement and I now have some time to update about the birth experience.
Having had a traumatic experience with Hana, I was determined this time around to be more informed and do more reading on the processZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-33042361291753284622015-03-24T14:34:00.000+08:002015-03-24T14:34:09.476+08:00TT and its challengesHana is almost completely toilet trained. We do keep her in diapers at night since she still seems to wet them from time to time, but any other time, she's completely out of it and in fact, even if we put her in one (sometimes we go out and we're not sure we'd be able to find a decent toilet where we're going) she'd insist on going in a toilet and not in her diapers.
But she has this knack for Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-60353107125393481402015-02-13T10:15:00.002+08:002015-02-13T10:15:37.515+08:00Toilet Training and SuchWe started toilet training Hana around end of last year, after school let out. It started very unsuccessfully - she'd remember sometimes, but then most times she wouldn't and accidents kept happening. Even when we asked if she wanted to go, she'd say no and pee all over the floor not 5 minutes later.
So we had to make do with a few days, and then stop because she clearly wasn't ready. This Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-28525636540143847612014-12-31T13:28:00.004+08:002014-12-31T13:28:59.101+08:00Of Number TWOI'm currently 5 months pregnant with number two, something that I didn't think I'd be up to, three years ago. I think that if you read my blog then, you'd know why.
Sometimes, I do wonder if I made the right decision. I feel like I barely do an OK job with Hana and now I'm about to take on another huge responsibility. Yes, rezeki, Alhamdulillah, please don't say that I'm not thankful, I Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-72697930619805885422014-12-10T21:25:00.001+08:002014-12-10T21:25:33.929+08:00The Fool.Two kicks. But there was no one to tell. Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-74333953227604497012014-05-24T15:26:00.003+08:002014-05-24T15:26:56.526+08:00School Already?This year, Hana turns three.
I've been searching since last year for classes and activities that she can join and interact with other children, something that I can attend myself since at the time, she wasn't the sociable butterfly she's turned out to be. She used to dislike it when strangers tried to interact with her.
Sure, she'd say Hi if someone said Hi first but that was about it. Most Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-16544135857642737822014-04-21T17:27:00.001+08:002014-04-21T17:27:06.377+08:00Discovering myselfSo here's the thing.
I've lived my whole life being this insecure person who wants the whole world to like her. I looked at people who had the guts to tell someone what for and I yearned to be like them but I just couldn't.
And so, relationship after relationship, friendship after friendship, I lived as a self-proclaimed, self-ordained doormat and I have no one to blame but myself. Because I Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-41355308877354785872014-02-14T12:21:00.000+08:002014-02-14T12:21:04.204+08:00Photographs. Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-90240956261755752422013-11-18T11:45:00.001+08:002013-11-18T11:45:45.658+08:00Of Speech PatternsLittle by little, I've noticed that Hana has started to talk more like adults. Despite her limited vocab, she does try and speak in full, proper sentences. At the very least, she manages to arrange her words properly whenever she talks.
For example, she used to say "Mama takut". Now she says "Hana takut mama!" (When we play catch, just in case people's imaginations start going wild) :P
She usedZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-57683739014537405772013-10-22T10:22:00.001+08:002013-10-22T10:22:35.835+08:00Listening to ReasonMy posts always seem overdue nowadays kan? It's hard concentrating on writing a post when things are just happening around me and there's a little girl running around needing my attention.
Anyway, here's a little Hana update.
She's 2y2m now. We spent her birthday in Kedah because it fell on the date of our best friend's wedding. Attempted to take her to the Taiping Zoo on the way back the next Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-1015436348575065952013-07-23T23:21:00.001+08:002013-07-23T23:21:19.003+08:00Hana and Problem-SolvingMy daughter never fails to amaze me. I know I say that a lot but she's been doing that a lot more lately.
When she's not being difficult, she's one of the bubbliest, cheekiest little babies I've ever seen.
A few days ago, she questioned her dad with a "Kenapa?" when he asked her to do something. Looks like we'll be hit with the "Whys" very very soon.
But what astounded me even more was when weZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-9851852846858889302013-07-20T22:46:00.002+08:002013-07-20T22:46:16.359+08:00HeartbreakingA few days ago, we were rocked by shocking news of how a 3-year old died after being left in the car by her mother for about 5 hours.
My reaction to the news came in stages. When I first read the headline, I was like "What the heck was the mother thinking?" then I read the whole story of how she had sent her sister over to the airport and had forgotten to send her sleeping baby to the nursery.
Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-10009115556768097932013-06-21T10:50:00.001+08:002013-06-21T10:50:41.091+08:00Offensive PostsHari ni tiba-tiba terfikir.
Dulu I joined those parenting groups. Niat nak menimba ilmu. Tapi bila dah tengok orang kutuk sana-sini, rasa macam kita ni mak yang tak sempurna. Kalau bagi susu formula tu macam dah teruk sangat la sebab tak usaha. Padahal diorang tak tau pun macam mana kita struggle nak bagi anak susu ibu. Kira bersyukur sangat anak kita dapat colostrum tu walaupun tak dapat nak Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-18177945222048716562013-06-13T18:48:00.000+08:002013-06-13T18:48:09.610+08:00Of ParentingIt's not easy, let me tell you.
Not that I don't love it. I do, don't get me wrong. It's worth it to wake up early everyday, having her smile sweetly at me and say "Hi sayang! Hi Mama!".
To have to rush here and there in the morning to make her breakfast, get her bathed and comfy and playing ball on demand or letting her watch her favourite shows, if only to have her run up to me, put her Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-39215212867761892992013-06-06T17:52:00.001+08:002013-06-06T17:52:31.236+08:00Hitting a Brick WallI have to say this.
I hate where I am, academically. I had a chance for something big but I blew it and now I'm stuck at square one, unable to progress anywhere.
People always say that when you're a postgraduate, you have to fend for yourself, nobody is gonna help you if you don't help yourselves. Your supervisor is there but you have to do everything. They're just there to observe.
I disagreeZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-40224253185758438662013-05-13T14:36:00.002+08:002013-05-13T14:36:23.566+08:00On the precipiceI've gotten asked so many times when we're giving Hana a little brother or sister.
So far, my answers have ranged from "Ada rezeki nanti ada lah" to "I'm not ready to go into the labour room again" to "Hana's not ready to share my attention".
Honestly, I really want another baby. I want it so bad. But then I look at myself. The way I can be, the things I feel and do. I look at my capabilities. Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-28938826372208976282013-03-24T23:14:00.003+08:002013-03-24T23:14:33.645+08:00I survived!Ok so the title is a little bit dramatic, but here's the story:
On Tuesday (19/3), Epol came home from work early, pale, shaken and feverish, and upon arrival, dropped everything and went straight to the bathroom. It appeared that he had gotten a bad case of food poisoning.
I had Hana that day and so it began, taking care of a clingy baby and a sick husband at the same time. I was exhausted by Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-73985935960265714132013-03-04T12:47:00.001+08:002013-03-04T12:47:27.461+08:00Of the damned Red Tape and Compassion (or lack of)Early Saturday morning, my grandmother fell and passed out in her bathroom. By our estimation, she had been on the floor for a few hours before my sister decided to check up on her and discovered what happened.
She was sent to the hospital in an ambulance (which arrived TWO FRIGGIN HOURS AFTER THEY WERE CALLED), checked on by the orthopedic who was on-call, found out that it there Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-20611548266808566302013-02-28T23:27:00.000+08:002013-02-28T23:27:01.455+08:00Hana: Duplo and Stringing SentencesI've noticed for a while now that Hana has started to learn problem solving. For example, if she is trying to get someplace and the nearest route has been blocked by something, she will find another way to get there.
Today, she was playing with her Duplos (well, not really duplo but a brandless substitute that looks like it. For the sake of making it easier for me to post, let's still Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-17209558652678394372013-02-26T17:05:00.000+08:002013-02-26T17:05:19.539+08:00A Random ThoughtThere's not a day that passed by when I don't wish I'd withstood the pain and the lack of results and tried harder at breastfeeding.
Even though I tell myself and others that I've accepted that breastfeeding isn't for everyone, there's always that niggling "What if?" that lingers around in my brain.
Maybe it's the peer pressure. Everyone seems to look down on formula feeding moms. We're looked Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-24820099563437746292013-02-18T19:25:00.001+08:002013-02-18T19:25:10.664+08:00Only Child Syndrom and Number TwoWe went to the park yesterday, something I'm planning to do regularly at least once a week. Hana loves being outdoors and I'd like her to get more fresh air.
Anyway, we bumped into someone we know, a family friend who already has grandchildren.
Now before i continue, I'm stating here that this post is in no way a personal attack to this person. I am merely stating my thoughts and feelings asZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-63409055357148957122013-02-05T16:53:00.000+08:002013-02-05T16:53:03.268+08:00Toddler TantrumsFor a couple of months now, we've had this problem where Hana throws tantrums and hits people on the face whenever she doesn't get what she wants.
Truth be told, it got on my nerves, and I would grow extremely impatient and scold her whenever she did it. I tried holding her hand firmly, looking into her eyes and telling her "No!".
I read somewhere that someone had tried reciprocating and hit Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-59287802339568561252013-01-30T11:54:00.000+08:002013-01-30T11:54:39.689+08:00.Tak terkata.
Tapi mengapa?
Pabila ombak menghempas
Angin menderu
Lancang.
Mengapa?
seakan hanyut dibawa arus
hilang entah kemana
seperti dihimpit dek batu dongengan
dilenyek. digilis.
Di mana ia pergi ketika itu?
Tak terkata.
Zurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-831850923220589017.post-65459716009659617692013-01-17T18:15:00.001+08:002013-01-17T18:15:31.747+08:00You just can't please everyoneWhen you put up photos after photos of your child, and each update is about them, people start saying that you don't have a life. "Orang lain pun sayang anak, takdela over hari2 letak gambar. Menyampah aku."
When you don't put up photos of your child, people contest your love for them.
You just can't win. So what do you do?
Whatever the hell you want :DZurinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12487536679923269143noreply@blogger.com0