Tuesday, July 28, 2009


You know, I do notice that I only seem to blog when I'm angry or sad. It's something that'stotally normal, a lot of people only seem to have something to write about when they're pissed off or depressed about something. When they're happy, they want to savour the moment for as long as possible, and words simply cannot describe that happiness they feel.

I suppose in a way it's passive aggressive of me, since I get tongue-tied when it comes to people I know personally. Or with cases like the pakcik guard, I refrain from actually doing or saying anything because he might actually come up with some excuse for his behaviour. Note that I said excuse, not reason. They're two very different things. Look them up if you're not sure.

I don't like displaying my emotions in real life that much. In fact, only the people closest to me have seen what I'm really like, and even those moments are few and far between. For that reason, I use this blog as a screen for my emotions, so that whatever I feel doesn't burst out of the overflow of pent up rage, which used to happen before I began to channel how I felt into writing.

This is one of those posts. I am disappointed and angry and I feel like punching people in the face. Certain people who make mockeries of other people's decisions and use them for their own pleasure and fun.

FYI, idiots (who, to my knowledge, don't read this blog, but god how i sometimes wish they did if only to see that there is something going on behind that quiet, shy facade that I put on everytime I see them). We decided to do this out of our own sense of moral and social responsibility. The chance was always there and yes, we did feel silly at times, putting this sentence onto ourselves when so many other people obviously don't give a shit about the wellbeing of others. Well, we happen to.

And YOU making it a joke and laughing in our faces as if we were idiots really does not endear you in my book AT ALL. Oh, and another fyi: you're not a priority. The only reason I come out is because of him. You hurt and make a fool of him, you're doing the same to me.

So don't be surprised if you never or rarely see me after this, because I have lost absolutely any interest of ever seeing your ridiculous mocking faces ever again. poof.

***this post is only dedicated to certain insensitive idiots. I think they know who they are.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Episode 2

This pakcik guard memang tak habis2 tau.

Today, my husband left early because he had a meeting, so I had to hitch a ride with a friend. I came down to wait for her, and the minute I got out of the lift, I came face to face with the guard.

Remember him? I wrote about him in this post. Anyway, I ignored him and went over to sit at the chairs in the lobby to wait for my friend. I did notice, however, that there was another guard there. I heard them talking, quite loudly, but I couldn't be arsed to eavesdrop lah, takde kerja.

And then, the other guard came walking past, and guess what? he was giving me this god-awful sneer. The whole time. Then he looked back at the original asshole pakcik and smiled.

Conclusion: The pakcik on the never-ending donkey which he thinks is a high horse must've said something about me.

Bravo, self-righteous arses. You've succeeded in ruining a portion of my morning, but let me tell you, you haven't ruined my Friday, because you know what? I've done nothing wrong. Suka hati lah kau nak cakap aku apa pun. Aku tau aku tak salah.

Sure, you can say that I'm paranoid, and maybe I am. But I do know that when someone sneers at you like that, it's not an accident. And when they actually exchange smirk looks, something IS going on.

But whatever.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Make a Decision and Don't Look Back.

It's like I'm in the middle of a raging river. One foot is on a sturdy, large rock right smack in the middle of the flow of water. My other foot is on another rock, equally strong, equally sturdy and yet, my body is turned towards a small, seemingly frail bit of stone barely within my reach.

I want to get on that stone for some reason. The sturdy rocks are calling me back, promising security and comfort, and yet there I am, reaching for that stone, and at the same time, unwilling to get my feet off those secure rocks. I want everything. I want to be safe from the raging waters. I don't want to fall in and drown, and yet I want that excitement. That risk. That adrenaline rush of almost tipping over the edge, but not quite.

And so I stubbornly keep my feet planted firmly on the rocks, but I still reach for that elusive tiny little plot of stone, shining, glimmering with the reflection of the water on it.

I am selfish.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Q: What is the price of someone's dignity, according to local laws?

A: 6 month's jail and RM2k fine!

Hilarious tak?

Tak kan? That's cuz it's not a joke.

And it's even less hilarious when you read this.

Every single day, I wonder what the world is coming to?

Monday, July 20, 2009

I Wanna Grow Old With You

Warning: Before you read on, let me warn you that this will be a VERY lovey dovey type of post. If you cannot stomach public displays of affection, I suggest you skip this one. :)

Anyway, moving on...

The first time I watched "The Wedding Singer", I heard that song he sang for her on the plane. Even though it was a little silly, it still sounded so sincere and sweet.

Although I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching chick flicks, I do know that fairytale romances only happen, well, in fairytales. The reality of it is that while you do fall in love and meet the person you're destined to be with for the rest of your life, things don't really work out like those happy endings do.

Happy endings are overrated, of course. You think Cinderella lived happily ever after? Not likely. I'm sure she and Prince Charming got into tiffs every now and then. I'm sure Snow White and her Prince each had pet peeves which annoyed them about each other.

For some couples, those pet peeves will probably annoy them for the rest of their lives. But it's how you deal with it that counts.

I get annoyed with my husband's flatulence. Or his tendency to burp out loud. Or his penchant for making parodies out of any song he chooses, even if it ruins a favourite song of mine. Or the fact that he leaves his jeans right where he takes it off after we get home from somewhere.

I'm pretty sure he gets annoyed with the fact that after I come out of the bathroom, I never shut the door. Or that I refuse to be the one to shut off the bedroom lights at night, even though he's already snug in bed. Or that my sinus problems means that every morning, he will wake up with a wad of tissues under his body.

But then that's me. And that's him. It's who we are, and though we have tiffs about it now and then, we both know that these aspects of us are things that we cannot change about each other.

So whenever he suddenly burps extra loud or butchers my favourite song to bits, I think about the things he does which I love him for. How, every morning, without fail, he would wake up, turn to me and I would automatically fit myself into his oh-so comfy arms and we would snooze until the last moment to wake up. How he wakes up first just so that I can get a few minutes of extra sleep. How, when I doubt myself and start questioning my worth as a wife, he kisses me and tells me that I'm the perfect one for him. How he looks at me with those light brown eyes which make me jealous and smile at me in that special way I know he reserves only for me. How he tries to solve things for me everytime, even though he knows that I will eventually be able to do it without his help.

You may wonder what came about this post. I was reading through Post Secret and I came across this:

It's really one of the sweetest posts I've ever seen on the website. One thing's for sure, I want to be like this couple. Well, I don't really want to piss all over the toilet seat, but I do want to grow old with my husband. God willing, I will.

“ … in the end, its these small things that you remember … little imperfections that make them perfect for you.” -Yasmin Ahmad's Eulogy

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Of Random Strangers and Kind Hearts.

To you, I am fickle.
To you, I'm not worth it.
And for one silly little moment,
My heart dropped
And I believed you.

To you, I'm a waste of time,
To you, I'm weak.
To you, I don't deserve a fighting chance
And for just a second
I believed it.

But then they came in the midst of my weak moment.
They found me while I was down,
Panting and sobbing from the dirt you had kicked me down in
Dirty and dishevelled
Cold and disheartened.

And they picked me up.

Cleaned me up.

Restored my faith

And gave me back my dreams.

And now it's you who's not worth it.
It's you who's fickle.
It was you who was a waste of my time
It's you who's weak.

But you still deserve a fighting chance
Because you don't know the most important thing about me:

I am nothing like you.

Friday, July 10, 2009

A Day in the Life of...

I'm trying to find a company that provides rental of ICT stuff. I find one online, and proceed to call the number in order to get more information

Bored sounding woman: Hello. ****.

Me: Hi, I'm calling in in order to find out about your EQUIPMENT rental service. Could you connect me to someone who's in charge of that?

Woman: We don't do equipment rentals. We only do (main service. I cannot write it down here because it'd be too obvious which company this is from)

Me: But your website says you do ICT rentals?

Woman (in a tone which clearly sounds like she thinks I'm an idiot): OOOOHHH.. ICT Rental. Kejap, I sambung u to ***

Oh. My. God. Really?

Even IF la. IF la kan, you don't associate the word "EQUIPMENT" with "ICT", shouldn't the word "RENTAL" tip you off?

Customer service these days. Tsk.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Old friends (and new)

On Saturday, I had to go to Terengganu to send my little sister back to college. Imagine how worried I was that we wouldn't be able to meet up with our dear friends who were coming back from Paris...

Thankfully, on Sunday, we managed to make it back to KL just in time to meet up with them at IKEA. As expected, Eleen said I was 'sihat' hoho. Dah lama tak jumpa lidah macam terkelu kejap. And then I saw who they had in the pram and I started squealing. Hehe.

Eva was adorable. Dengan mata bulat dia, and her cute little antics (nak bukak kasut, playing with bubbles in her mouth, biting on Sophie). But the poor little girl was really tired and cranky so macam tak berani nak main2 dengan dia sangat.

Our whole group still had a great time with them. :)

But then towards the end when we were taking group pictures, ada la pulak pakcik guard yang dengki tak kasi amik... Just when we got to my camera pulak tu.. Oh well..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My face is Lucky!

Today, a fortune teller came to my office. I happened to be the one who opened the door. Maybe he was right, maybe I am 'lucky'.

He gave me a card and said "You have a very lucky face. Very lucky. But you are a dreamer"

Without giving me a chance to say anything, he says "There will be a big change for you, coming soon. On the 8th of August. Opportunity will come knocking at your door, you must not be asleep when it happens"

"Give me a pen and paper. I will write down for you everything you want to know, including about your love life. I will write down whether your boyfriend is serious about you"

I smiled and just said no thanks.

What I really wanted to say was "if you really were a fortune teller, you'd know that I'm married". :)


Sometimes, I don't understand women, though I am one myself. Love plays a big part in most women's life, as does mine. What I don't understand is how some women can let love dominate completely without thinking of what the consequences may be.

I've come across so many cases of women letting their significant others do with them as they please, and claiming to be in love with them anyway. Some examples:

Case one:
They've been together for a few years. They've broken up a few times, mostly initiated by the guy, who tells others that he is bored of her. Yet, they get back together again and again. He comes and goes as he pleases. He calls her when he is feeling lonely and orders (bukan requests ye, ORDERS) her to go away when he doesn't feel like hanging out with her. She stays anyway, because she thinks that no one else will want her.

Case two:
He is cheating on her with someone else. Friends have told her this, and yet she refuses to believe them, claiming that they're trying to break up a beautiful relationship.

Case three:
He cheated on her three times. She took him back again and again, although she KNOWS this guy is not to be trusted. Friends told her to leave and she said "Easier said than done. I love him". Finally in her most desperate hour, right when she needed him the most, he abandons her and asks another guy to help her out. Now she's in love with the other guy and the cheating arse decides to come back and try to ruin her life by trying to claim her back. She regrets the four years she was with this asshole.

Case four:
He beats her up, makes her do his laundry even though he's living with his mother and refuses to see her when he doesn't feel like it. Often times, she comes to work with thick makeup on because of the bruises.

Case five:
She's working, he's not. He refuses to get a job, and when he does, can never keep it for more than a week, max. She gives him money for food. He mooches off friends as well, staying at their place without paying rent and finishing up their food. They plan to get married.

Case six:
He's a known philanderer, she's a university student. They've slept together a few times. She got pregnant, tells him it's his. He stops seeing her. She goes psycho. One day, he calls her up and asks her to go on a trip with him, promising that he had changed and wanted to make things better for the three of them (plus the baby). She gets excited, goes with him, gets anal raped and suffers a miscarriage. He posts naked pictures of her on facebook, dumps her and gets on with the next conquest.

Why do these women stay around men like these? It's not like they can't find another man out there who can treat them heaps better. I say it's selfishness. I know. It's ironic, right? They think they're sacrificing for the one they love, and yet, I think they're just selfish.

Do they think about the fact that they're worrying the people who REALLY love them? Family? Close friends? No.

They only think about how much they love this guy and how THEY can't live without HIM. How, without HIM, they won't be able to find someone else.

And they're totally wrong.

If they'd only stop thinking of themselves for maybe a few minutes, they'll see that life has so much more to offer. Love has so much more to offer than a lifetime of disappointments, missed dates, wasted money, physical and emotional bruises and heartache.

If you're a girl and something in this post rings a bell, then maybe you're one of those girls who got themselves caught up in this situation. The guy is not worth it, trust me.

If you're a guy and you feel angry at me for writing this post, then maybe you're one of 'those' guys who mistreat your significant others. Maybe you should stop breaking her heart and become a better man for her before it's too late.

Before she finds someone a hundred times better and decides to move on. Before you realise that you just lost the greatest gift life has ever given you.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kita Semua Rakyat Malaysia kan?

A friend of mine, who has his own company, is working on a project to train fresh graduates. The course is intensive, they have to attend it for a few months, at the end of which they'll be rewarded with a certificate and job placement.

The package includes free training, allowance and lodgings, which, in my opinion, is awesome. Lately, this friend has been consulting my husband and I, regarding some issues he has been facing in his attempt to provide lodgings for these soon-to-be trainees.

In one conundrum, he asked us whether Malays minded rooming with other Malays. Being open-minded about this kinda thing, we replied that personally, we wouldn't. It shouldn't be a problem, as long as the roomies respect each other's religions and practices. Upon enquiring why the question came up, he told us that a girl, who he had attempted to place in a room with a non-malay, requested to change rooms, quoting "prayers" as a reason. Either the non-malay will drop dead as soon as she starts praying or she is incapable of performing her prayers on her own.

Another time, he asked us if it was ok to put a malay girl in a guy filled apartment, claiming that she was open-minded and that she would have her own room. We were horrified, because we assumed that everyone knew the rule that an unmarried muslim woman and a man are not allowed to live in the same house, unless she was married to him. Of course, he apologized and quickly withdrew his intent to do such a thing.

He told us about these few girls, who refused to let another girl (last minute entry) into their apartment because they claimed it was too full. Each room had 3 people, and although the master bedroom was big enough to actually house 4, they didn't want to accept someone else into the house.

Hello? Banyak demand pulak. It's only for a few months for goodness' sake, and you're getting this free! AND you're getting money for it AND a job placement! If you don't want it, there are hundreds more out there, hoping for this valuable chance. Get your cerewet ass out and make room for those who would appreciate it more lah. Lempang nanti baru tau.

And then there was the case about some family members coming down from god-knows-where to visit their child who was part of the programme. They apparently inquired what race was living with their child, to which my friend replied 'Why?', as in, 'Why do you want to KNOW, arses? Does it even freaking matter who the heck this person lives with for a few months, as long as they're not robbers, rapists or murderers?'. My friend admitted that the question had very negative racial connotations to it, and I absolutely agree.

I think he was really shocked with the fact that these people cared so much about 'who lives with who', simply because our group of friends are a pretty laidback, interracial bunch. He's even thinking about having some kind of gathering to promote harmony between the group. I say put them in one room and get someone to slap the silly out of them. What ungrateful little wretches.

Lift Robbers

Apparently, nowadays, you need a weapon (pepperspray, where do I get pepperspray?) for the mere act of entering a lift!

Seriously, what is the world coming to? These men, no, wait, they don't deserve to be called men. These ASSHOLES, look perfectly healthy to me. Perfectly capable of getting jobs, and yet they pray on poor, unsuspecting young women?

If you happen to come across this blog and recognize these assholes, please report them. We don't need creeps like these walking around under the sun, free as birds to do as they bloody well please.

Kesian la kat family diorang ni. Susah2 raise anak macam menatang minyak penuh, lepas tu anak jadi macam SETAN! I hope they never get married or start breeding, because they'll have offsprings who would probably be ASHAMED of their amazingly assholic dads.

How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse: What my Husband Taught Me

I watch a lot of zombie movies. Everytime after, (since I always get scared everytime), my husband quizzes me on what I would do should there be a zombie apocalypse. Well, here's what I learnt:

1.First things first, find an easily defensible position, but one which has at least one escape route. A great place would be somewhere high so that you have a good vantage point. You need a gun and LOADS of bullets in case any zombie comes your way. THis would also be a good point to see if there are any survivors that might be able to help you out.

2.Please do not hole up in a shopping mall. Shopping malls in Malaysia, by default, all have sliding doors, try defending that. Besides, you really don't want some zombie jumping out at you from some dark, obscure corner.

3.Identify type of zombie. Are they traditional (slow, slurry, somewhat comical in their effort to eat your brains) or new age (can actually run, pounce, and climb, but still have trouble with opening doors)? This will help you determine how to dispose of them, and if you can run away, and potentially not have any zombies right on your tail. The fast ones are a bit tricky. You're probably gonna have to make sure they're indisposed before you make your escape.

3.Regardless of type of zombie, they transfer the virus/curse through bites, so dress properly. Those turtlenecks and hoodies come in handy right about now. And those gloves. And those stockings. Cover up!

4.Aim for the head! Don't need advanced weaponry to take out zombies.

5.Find a group of people with variety of skills. Someone who can hotwire a car? great! It'll help you escape and find a sanctuary. Someone who can make bombs? Even better! hehe..

6. If there's an asshole in the group, kill him.

7. If it's hard on your conscience, push him into a zombie bite, wait for him to turn into a zombie, then kill him. Trust me, it's for the better, because he will inevitably turn on you or make life harder for you EXACTLY when you least expect it.

8. Drench yourself in mud before you sleep. Zombies can't smell, or sense your heat then.

9. Find a lorry. Put a cow in it, with lots of food, and some chickens. These will be your suppliers of food.

10.Find a few goats. Scapegoats. Bwahahaha.
Also, identify sleepwalkers in your group, and make sure they sleep during the day

11.And for goodness sakes, if a slow-walking zombie comes after you, please don't do the idiot thing and start whimpering. Run! They're slower than you. And by running, I don't mean sobbing hysterically, turning back to see how close it is and stumbling over everything/ Just run and don't look back until you're in a safe place. Better yet, if you have a gun, shoot the damn thing in the head!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

So true...

I saw this among my friend's pictures on facebook. I guess it calls out to me at this moment in time, because of how I'm feeling. This is for me, and G, and anyone else who's going through unnecessary stress due to what life is throwing at us.

I used to think that these kind of people didn't exist in my life. Now I know that I'm wrong. One of them is about to make a huge transition, something we all hope she will change her mind about, but will be there for her nevertheless.

Hafiz, if you chance upon this blog, I saw this and I just had to post it up. Credits to you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

New Old Books

I just got new (for me, old for someone else) books for wayyy cheap. RM10 each, thanks to a colleague of my husband's who decided to sell off some of his old books.. Can't wait to read them, but here's hoping that I have the time.. :(