Saturday, July 23, 2011

Ok random.

So I went to Shah Alam to pay for the antenatal classes that I booked A MONTH AGO and had confirmed for. My name wasn't there, apparently. The lady kept saying "She said she booked and confirmed already but her name is not here". I dunno if I'm overly sensitive or ape, but that really sounds like she's implying I lied about booking.

Siap boleh cakap "We usually call to re-confirm" at which point, I replied "I never got any calls. Missed or otherwise", to which she replied "No, see I would've called or my people would've called. Kalau u ada book, your name would be here". What a bitch.

Should've asked for the name of the person I booked with tu. No "sorry", no nothing, just an unspoken accusation and a konon2 gracious offer of "I boleh letak nama you, and you can definitely attend the talk, tapi nanti masa exercise takut takde space. Jangan complain pulak". At which point, I glared at her and said "Tak Payah." Yes, I said it like that. She softened up a little and made the offer again. The husband asked me if I wanted in and I just shook my head.

She made yet ANOTHER offer (baik sangat la konon tu) - "I don't want to send you away, you already made it here kan. I can squeeze you in". I gave her this "look" and firmly shook my head again. And then, upon leaving, exclaimed loudly to the husband within earshot of everybody in the office "Macam mana incompetent sangat sampai orang dah book boleh pulak nama tak ada?"

Yes, I can be a bitch too. Especially since I'm so hormonal right now :)

My feet are swollen now! Time to cut down on the salt! :(

And I just realised I have less than a month to go! Takut!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

35 weeks

1. The baby's weight is estimated to be around 2.18kgs - and apparently she's small for her age.

2. The mommy's weight gain is now 10kgs. Just a few days ago I was telling one of my besties that I've gained less than 10kgs. *nangis*

3. I've managed to book us a place at an antenatal class for next week. This comes pretty late since there's always a chance the baby decides to come out early, but at least I won't have to take refresher courses, since it's near the due date.

4. My OBGYN advised me against fasting during Ramadhan. He says that it will affect the baby. I'm a little disappointed because that will mean that I'll really be missing out this year. No puasa, no raya and a whole month of puasa to replace. But I guess it's worth it, for the sake of the little one.

5. I've also managed to confirm a confinement lady, which is a HUGE relief because I started asking around at the last minute, and I noticed that there seem to be a lot of women due around the same time I am.

And that's about it :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Favourite Spot

My baby has found a new favourite spot:

She lodges herself right below my right ribcage and sticks her elbow/knee out to my right really hard, effectively making it uncomfortable for me to sit in any position.

What's crazy is that I love her all the more for it sebab comel! lol.

Sunday, July 3, 2011


A few weeks ago, I penned a status update on Facebook in a fit of rage and sadness. A very unfortunate incident had befallen none other than my own mother, at the hands of someone who was so unworthy it would make anyone cringe to hear the whole story.

Needless to say, people commented and told me to "sabar". It was not good for the baby. I knew this. God knows I knew this so much that it upset me to even BE that upset about it. On the one hand, why shouldn't I be upset? My mother had been slighted. She who carried me for nine months in her belly, who endured all nine months of morning sickness, FOR ME. She who went through sleepless nights taking care of me when I was sick, who worked so hard at getting everything that this spoiled little girl wanted. Who would do anything to keep her daughters happy. The one who sacrificed and sacrificed for the sake of every one else. The one who had just recovered from cancer. THAT person. One of the people I would do anything for.

On the other hand, me being that upset was not good for the baby. The sweet, active, attention-seeking little bundle inside me who I've come to love aalmost more than anyone else in the world, despite not having met or laid eyes on her yet. I knew that being that upset would potentially hurt the baby as well.

I. Knew. This.

And as much as I would have loved to admit that these people were right (and they were, in a way), I honestly just became more frustrated. At myself, for being stuck in this situation. At them for not understanding how important both these individuals are to me.

But the fact of the matter is, "sabar" is easier said than done. Sure, I can come out smiling like a gold medal winning champion, but who can say how I feel? I can keep my emotions bottled up for the sake of everyone who thinks I shouldn't be acting a certain way because of the baby, but would that really be a good idea? Would I be smiling and laughing for others' sakes? Or my baby's and my own?

Sabar but keep my emotions hidden away where no one sees. Sabar but letting those feelings eat me up inside. Pada mata kasar, I'm still being patient right? I feel that THAT kind of patience, I don't need. I'd be hurting myself and my baby a lot more to keep things bottled up inside just so I'd show people how sabar I am. And if letting my rage out once in a while help keeps me calmer on other days, then why not? What good is false patience when it has the potential to hurt more than letting out my emotions?

The honest truth? We've been patient for 7 whole years. We've given this offending person more words than anyone can imagine. We've kept quiet while she reigned over us smugly. And now, the shit has hit the fan.

She has hurt one of the people I love most in this whole world. Unless you know what that feels like, and unless when you had it happen to you, you were able to control your emotions and truly 'sabar', you will have no idea how it feels, and you will have no idea what magnitude of 'sabar' it takes for me to truly live up to the word.

I appreciate all the advice I've been given, but allow this big pregnant lady one instance of rage just so she doesn't end up a basket-case of bottled-up emotions alright? :)