Friday, December 11, 2009

Things I Don't Get To Say

I've always been pretty introverted. I don't find pleasure in telling the whole wide world how I feel about things. When someone does something that angers me or makes me uncomfortable, I usually keep it in because I don't like confrontations. In fact, I used to spend my whole life running away from such things.

Lately, I've been trying to change that about myself. Sometimes, it's better to make yourself heard and risk hurting people than it is to just keep quiet and let others hurt you again and again. At the very least, they know how you feel.

But then there are just some things I still don't get to say. With certain people, I bite my tongue because I know the consequences of letting my mouth run would be too grave to even consider.

But I still hate it when someone tries to make me into a puppet. When they pull on the invisible strings that they somehow attached to my mind and body and make me do things for their benefit. I hate it when someone uses me in order to get to someone else and make them do exactly what they'd like them to do.

I'm not a puppet, not a doll, not your dog. I am a human being, with feelings, desires and my own brain, which I use to determine what is right and wrong by my own standards, which I have been taught to do by my parents. And I believe that what my parents have taught me are wonderful things that are to be praised, not ignore. They taught me to respect, which is why I hold my tongue. They taught me about free will, which is why they have never forced me to do anything that I don't want to do. They've taught me really well.

So I don't think there is any need for anyone to come waltzing into my life and deciding that they've got the right to control in according to their whims and fancies. I am who I am, and maybe some people should respect that as much as I respect and love them.

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