Max Payne: The Movie

1. I'm not really a gamer but I watch my husband pay sometimes, and really don't think that's the way the story goes.

2. If you're looking for a lot of actions, guns and bullet time, you'll be disappointed because there's like, probably one of each.

3. Bad guy 1: Let's just shoot him now!
Bad guy 2: No! We have to make it as complicated as possible! I know you want to shoot him and dump him in the lake/sea/river/whatever, but that's not the way! first, you're gonna cuff him. ok? done? alright. I'm gonna spout some confession stuff and make him really mad now. Hey dude, i killed your wife and kid! yeah, i did i did. (Max gets really mad)
Bad guy 1: Wtf are you doing? Let me shoot him!
Bad guy 2: Not yet. Okay, now I'm gonna put two vials of the drug that makes soldiers really powerful and makes them feel invincible in battle. (to Max) haha! I'm gonna throw you in the river and people are gonna think you're a druggie who committed suicide! haha! ... Okay, next step, I'm gonna carry this heavy thingy over. Hey, bad guy 1, bring that rope over will y-... agghh! Oh no! Max beat the shit out of us even with the handcuffs cuz I made him mad and he jumped into the river/lake/sea/whatever! Oh, don't worry. It's really cold. He'll freeze to death! He won't suddenly get the will to live after almost dying and swim out and drink the vials and get powerful and try to take revenge on me or anything.... (which makes sense, but logic doesn't really count in the movie)

4. The whole "supernatural" angels with wings bla bla bla stuff is total bs.

5. the coolest part in the movie was after all the "action" was over and they showed a montage of guns and bullets and stuff. Seriously.

I know Iezu warned us and all, but I was too curious about it, and frankly speaking, so was my husband since he plays the game. But here I am, telling you right now, the movie is NOT worth it.

NOT!