Observed

I'm an observer. When I go out with friends, sometimes I just prefer to sit quietly and see how everybody behaves or what other people have to say. I'm comfortable laughing along with the crowd without actually contributing any jokes of my own into the conversation (and with good reason. Every joke I'd make would probably kill a kitten with its lameness) Some may call that being stuck up or introverted, but I'd just like to call it "being-comfortable-enough-with-these-people-to-just-sit-back-and-bask".

Sometimes, though, I'm not really within my immediate group of friends. I sit with acquaintances who I've gotten to know. Or, while waiting for someone or something, I sit back, alone, and watch as people go by. (No, I don't stare at people and make them uncomfortable and be all stalker-like, although some might call it that). I just observe.

And it's funny sometimes, how oblivious some people can be about themselves.

To the reactions that people get when talking to them, to the faces people make when they approach, to the emotions that people show when they say something uncalled for.

I wonder if I'm ever like that. I'd like to think that when I say something that my friends might have gotten offended at, I'd realise it almost immediately and apologise soon after. I'd like to think that I'm observant enough to the people around me to know what kind of jokes might offend them and what might not. I hope.

But there are of course those rare(?) bunch people who don't care or don't want to care at all how much they may be hurting their friends or pushing them away with their attitudes or the way they think or simply with those so called "harmless" jokes that they make. And it's really sad, in a way, that they know so little about themselves and the people around them to actually know, or even care about what they might be doing.

I notice that slight widening of the eyes when one friend gets offended, or that little twitch right in the corner of the mouth that comes one split second after an offensive statement. If I were the on saying it, I'd probably stop and cover it up and somehow try to backtrack and cover it up with something else. Yet, some people can't, or even worse, won't. Some can actually see how offended people get when they say something, but insist on saying it anyway.

What is the point of laughing at someone's flaws or misfortune? Karma always comes back and bites you in the ass, or even worse, in the face. What is the point of pointing out something that embarasses someone else, especially if that someone else is a friend? Is it so satisfying to see a friend fall from way up there where you're standing? Is it such a relief to have it happen to someone else that you'd resist their friendship by pointing at them and laughing and laughing and laughing just because they're nice people who would be slightly emotional for a while and then laugh back just to show that they're "sporting"? Is it?

Because when you're in their place, it's not, apparently. When you're in their place, you tend to get upset when someone does it to you. And you forget that you've done it so many many times that that's all your friends remember you for.

So think and remember all those times you've offended someone just to make yourself feel better, and I really hope that it felt GREAT, because before you know it, you might find yourself at the butt of a cruel joke, and let me tell you, it won't feel that great.