A License to Shoot Idiots on Sight Would be GREAT.

Professionalism, by definition, means the conduct, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession or a professional person. Definition taken from here.

This, Mr FANTASTIC, as you apparently so angkat bakul sendiri-ishly like to refer to yourself, is apparently LOST to your good self.

When you promise something done in a PROFESSIONAL setting, you DO it. For example "I will hand this proposal over to you, TODAY". You do NOT go MIA for the rest of the day, get your friend to call the person you said this sentence to at the end of the day, RIGHT before quitting time, to explain that you had to run errands SINCE LUNCH and have not been able to get back at the office. Fair enough. Errands. Okay.

What you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT do, is get your friend to promise that you'll hand it in by the next day and still be MIA on said day until 11 o'clock, and at which point, when the person who is waiting patiently, with her ASS on the line, for the proposal which she had completed her part A WEEK AGO, calls in order to ask you where the FUCK your ass is, NOT ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!!!

Memang rasa nak tembak ok mamat ni. Seriously. Dahla menyorok belakang kawan. Excuses sampai sejuta, AND takde guts nak pegi explain kat boss sendiri, AKUU jugak yang kena tepek muka depan boss buat muka kesian.

The boss is not a charity case ok? Banyak2 kali aku terpacak kat office dia with my pathetic face, nanti he will get bosan and feel like firing me. AKU yang kena kan babiiii? Tau tak geram tu ape? Geram tu is my state of mind right now.

Call tak angkat.

You are NOT a kid anymore. This is NOT the university where you can extend deadline banyak2 kali and the lecturer still terima sebab tak nak jawab to his/her superiors. BUKAN. Kalau aku yang fresh grad convo pon belum ni boleh faham, kenapa kau tak boleh?????

*update: 11.31 on my clock.Still no sign, still not answering his phone.

**ohmigod, he's 29. Ingat fresh grad jugak. dah tua bangka rupenye takreti2 lagi?

*** Yes, I can be an obsessive compulsive

****update: it is now 2.00 pm, I am reaching boiling point, batang hidung tak nampak, still not answering his phone.

Of Convocations and Loved Ones

Yesterday, my little sister had her convocation at the same place that I will be having mine. I couldn't attend. Firstly, I wasn't an invitee (only two places) and secondly, I had work. I am not confirmed yet, and although I'm allowed to take leave, I'm not comfortable with taking more than one day off for my own convocation next week.

Today, she told me a really sad story. Apparently, one of the graduates had passed on, and yesterday, arwah's mother got up on stage to receive the scroll on their behalf. I thought it was so brave of her to go up there, to see all those other graduates happily receiving their own scrolls, to watch them hugging and taking pictures with their own parents. How she must've seen her son/daughter everywhere, wishing so badly that she was that mom hugging her son/daughter. Or that parent, taking a picture of her child in full convo regalia.

I feel so blessed to still be here. To still have my parents here. To be able to see their proud faces as I step onto that stage. I feel blessed to have such wonderful friends who are graduating along with me, and to have those wishing me well and being happy for me from afar.

I listened to the story of the mother who was so proud of her child that she just had to come and receive that scroll, even though seeing everyone else so happy would break her heart, and I am humbled. Because everything we have could be dragged out from under our feet in an instance, just with a blink.

And yes, I am extremely proud of my little sister, Sharina, and wish that I could have been there to see her up on that stage.

I never get tired of looking at this...

Yes, I know a lot of people have graduated before, and I'm obviously not the pioneer of all degrees first class, but it's my pride and joy. It's something I never thought I would get (although admittedly, I failed to achieve something else I was pretty sure I would get, due to some technicality, which explains the two stars instead of three)

But yeah.

I worked hard for four years to get this, and I believe I'm entitled to little bit of narcissism and a whole lot of pride.

We're all adults here

Sometimes, when that time of the month finally arrives, I feel a whole lot of relief...
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....and just a little smidgen, just a pang of disappointment.

Mengada-ngada

Ok, those of you out there, please don't kill me ok? This is me, memang mengada-ngada..

I have this urge to teach!!!! I mean, I LOVE writing and I still want to be a proper writer some day, tapiiiii, tiba2 I feel this urge to teach again. Granted my stint was ridiculously short and kinda forced upon me but I do remember the good times and I really feel like going back la...

Kenapa ni la, ish. I mean, I have a perfectly awesome job and a very cool boss but kepala hotak ni sengaja je. I guess it's true what they say, that we'll never be satisfied with what we have kan?

Getting Older

On Saturday, my high-school friend Baya and I decided to pay a visit to new mommy Shaline. Due to certain 'pantang' and whatnot, I couldn't take pictures of her and her one month old baby boy, but let me assure you, he is absolutely gorgeous.

The baby was born after only 6 months of pregnancy, making him 3 whole months premature. Needless to say, a lot of his organs hadn't fully developed yet and Shaline had a lot of difficulties during the first month. I'm not going to mention the incidents here, but what happened would make any mother cry if it happened to her own helpless, innocent little child.

The worst thing is that some "aunties" who claim to have had more experiences and think they are wiser than anyone else ask rude, intruding questions like "Hmm.. Are you SURE he's premature?". Bodoh la. Tak ke patah hati mak orang ko cakap anak dia camtu? What are you implying? That she got married out of wedlock? Tak nampak baby tu kecik gila, rambut and kening belum ada lagi, siap masuk incubator semua? What is wrong with people nowadays? Kalau tak buruk sangka tu memang tak sah kan?

Anyway, listening to her story, I felt sad and slightly wistful. Obviously looking at her baby got my maternal instincts all ticking like a timebomb, but I remember how we were in school, skipping class, (yep, I skipped class with the class monitor) having loads of fun with her. I look at her now, all matured and I can hardly believe I'm looking at the same childish-sounding girl I was good friends with in school. Time really does fly, doesn't it?

Contrasts

A few months ago, I had a job where I hated the work but adored the people. They were friendly, really really nice and they were THERE for you, especially if you're the newbie. I always had help, and even the superiors (minus one) were nice and didn't really cause any heartache. The job sucked though, and I went to work day after day, dreading what else the news was going to bring. Political catastrophes, financial mayhem, social pollution, you name it, I saw it, covered it and felt like killing someone.

Here, it's the total opposite. I love my job. I get to write a lot, do a lot of new things and my learning curve is sky-high. And yet there's something missing. Being in a company where 80% are men means I only have one other female colleague. We have nothing in common. Not to say she isn't nice. She's a sweetheart, in fact. We just have nothing in common. Oh, and men can be total bitches too. Especially certain men in high positions who think they're better than anyone else.

I seriously wonder which is better now. Career advancement (that might not even happen because of the bitchiness), or having great friends (I say friends, no colleagues for a reason) to come to work with.

I realise that office politics happen anywhere. Everywhere I go I WILL meet pathetic bitches who need to measure their worth by putting other people down. I just wish I had the courage to stand up for myself when untruths are being said about me and what I do.

Whatever, Mr Clean

The story behind my facebook status.

Password

Ask and you shall receive..

When men think with their other head

I walk to work practically every morning. I like my morning walks, it gives me exercise and lets me get some fresh air before I chain myself to my computer and my desk and hunch all day long. However, I rarely get that really fulfilling walk I so want to have everyday.

This is because some men think with their dicks instead of their brains.

This morning was a particularly unnerving and frustrating walk because some morons decided to follow me along the way with their motorcycle. One of them happens to be a guard at one of the clubs at Damas, and he was still in uniform, so I wasn't particularly worried about being snatched/slashed especially since there were a lot of people there.

Throughout that excruciating few minutes (felt like a hundred years to me though), these two asshole dickheads catcalled, whistled, leered and looked me up and down. BABI. Bangang. Tak guna. Asshole. Moron. Idiots. bahlol. BABIIII. Huh.

Other instances of idiot men (bukan semua ye, yang mana yang rasa dia cun/hot sangat nak kacau2 perempuan):

1. Countless times when some idiot in a car pauses at the side of the road just to fucking say 'hi' or 'asalamualaikum' and tell you that it's berdosa not to jawab. Nak kena lempang, plis?

2. Pakcik, ok, bukan abang bukan adik, pakcik yang rumah kata pergi kubur kata mari, dok tanya2 dah makan dah "DIK" (tak tahan, ko dah sentengah abad ko panggil aku dik?)tannak join abang? Rasa nak cakap "pakcik agak2 bini pakcik kat rumah tengah buat apa ek? tengah masak untuk pakcik ke tengah jaga anak pakcik? sedar diri la sket pakcik oii, nak mampus dah pun buat dosa lagi ke?". Ye, saya bukan alim, bukan perfect, but seriously.

3. Following you around asking for your name and number incessantly.

4. Catcalls, whistles and such.


When, oh when will the government start a ruling to allow women to castrate men who harass them in public? Or at least shoot them? Or stab them? Because I will be the first to do so. Trust me.

Just another day at work

picture courtesy of (click)

I think they let just anyone manage the phone at offices these days. You know how I regularly go to NotAlwaysRight? Well, here is a real-life, it happened to me, genuine, the customer IS right situation.

Lately, I've been in charge of applying for a grant for one of my company's sister companies. One of the terms of the grant is that the applicant has to provide 3 different quotations from 3 different suppliers for items which it wishes to purchse and claim. There I was, on my search, getting through (on the phone) to really nice people who even offered to get quotations for items they didn't sell, when I came across two such conversations:

Idiot: Hello?! (Bear in mind that good companies/receptionists always answer the phone with "Hello, (insert company name)" and the optional "(insert name) speaking. She obviously did none of these)

Me: Hi, my name is Azurin from ___________.

Idiot: Yes?

Me: My company is surveying some items, and we'd like quotations for them, I wonder if-

Idiot: HAH? SERVING?

Me: Surveying

Idiot: HAH?

Me:... LOOKING FOR. BUYING. We're looking for some items and-

Idiot: ITEMS?! WHAT ITEMS?!
(At this point, I'm thinking, "Wait, maybe I got the wrong number"

Me: This is ___________ right?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: You sell computer stuff right?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: Oookk. So here are the items I'm looking for. Do you have a Dell Server?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: Ok, do you supply Apple Computers?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: What about Adobe softwares?

Idiot: (in very bored tones) YYeeeesssssss.

Me: Okay, so can I get quotations for those items, please?

Idiot: (Without another word, transfers me on to someone else who was nicer, more accommodating and more knowledgable. Thank God)

Ugghh. What a moron. Seriously.

Needless to say, the other similar conversation went along those lines too. Seriously, if you're idiotic enough to not know that computer hardware/software YOUR company sells are considered ITEMS too, maybe you should go back to school. Better yet, maybe you should learn some friggin manners while you're at it.

Star Trek 2009

I have to admit, I wasn't very excited about this movie. I remember watching Star Trek when I was a child but not the one with Captain Kirk and Spock, the one with Jean-Luc Picard and Data. I remember liking it when I was little, but then growing up and disliking it, simply because I was a girl who found technology boring. Therefore, my spirits weren't that high, and I didn't expect to like it all that much.

I stand corrected.

By the way, spoilers alert. If you haven't watched the movie and intend to go soon, I suggest you stop right here.

Star Trek was quite an awesome movie. Like most remakes, they reset the story, but not the way that most people are doing it now. They did it in such a way that I personally felt gave a nod to the original Star Trek, in the form of an alternate universe that occurred due to time-travel, the after-effects of getting sucked into a black hole.

Meaning, they didn't rewrite the whole thing and declare the old one null and void. They rewrote it, acknowledging that in the original universe, the events of the original Star Trek still happens, only in this storyline, everything changed because of certain events in the future. Geddit?

Okay, so anyway, the acting was alright. I'm not particular because I don't take acting classes and as long as it seems convincing to me, it's fine. Chris Pine did a fine job of playing Captain Kirk and that Syler guy from Heroes also did a good job, I think. I liked the fact that they casted Simon Pegg as Scotty, because I like Simon Pegg. Haha. I have a minor little crush on him and I think he's funny. Oh.. and fans of the original will get a pleasant surprise in a form of a cameo of a certain original character.

As far as the storyline goes, it appealed to me, and the parts where Captain Kirk's dad died to save everyone on the ship was particularly heartbreaking to me, for some reason or other.

But yeah, I wasn't much of a Trekkie, but I loved the movie. I think it did a good job of simultaneously keeping Trekkies' appetites appeased and appealing to the younger generation who don't know much about Star Trek as well as those non-trekkies such as myself.

Overall, awesome movie. :)

By the way, if any Trekkies are reading this, please correct me if I got any info wrong. Tq.

The Perfect Way of Placing Your Foot in Your Mouth, Chewing It Up to Bits and Spitting it Out

I have a cool boss. I seriously do. He smokes a pipe (susah okay, nak tengok orang muda smoke pipe ni) and I really do learn something new from him everytime I have a proper conversation with him.

He also opted not to tell anyone when, one day, after a particularly grueling and hectic day at work which left my brain in shambles, I walked out of my room with my bags and files in my arms, all ready to go home, totally barefoot. Obviously, he pointed it out just as I was pressing the switch for the door and in shock and embarrassment, I ran back to my office and grabbed my shoes. For those of you who don't know, when I'm really busy with work, I tend to take off my shoes and sit with both legs on the chair because it's more comfortable that way. But I digress. Let's move on.


Anyway, my boss decided that he wants to revamp the company's newsletter cum brochure cum booklet and asked me to go through the whole thing while he was outstation. Upon his return, we would discuss any changes I had to suggest. That was last week.

The point of the story is coming up, I swear.

So on Monday, he comes to work, and instead of summoning me to his office, he comes to mine (echeheh, macam ada office sendiri. Padahalll, kena share 2 orang) and asks me, "So, what should we change about the booklet?"

Without missing a beat, I answered "The grammar" and laughed. (Ok, ok, in my defence, I did TESL and grammatical mistakes make me grit me teeth and I am aware I've got mistakes in my blog, but it's a blog, tqvm, not a formal document)

He blinked, said "Ahh.. yeah.. ok. What else, d'you think?", pulls out a chair and sits at the corner of my desk.

And so we started discussing the booklet and ways to improve it.

Halfway through, he flips through the booklet and says nonchalantly, "so, anyway, back then, I had to come up with all these articles myself" and I immediately felt my face burn with embarrassment.

Let's rewind. The first thing he asked me was what we should change about the booklet. I replied grammar. And it turned out that he wrote the whole thing. In short, I told my boss that his grammar is flawed TO HIS FACE.

Foot in mouth? Yes, I would certainly say so.

Luckily, I also remember that during my interview, he did say that he needed someone with good english because his wasn't that good.

I hope he wasn't offended (cross fingers)

Random and Insignificant (but not to me)

These are my girls sans two - (Diva Parits and her gorgeous little mini-me, who are, unfortunately, on the other side of the world). Sometime this week or the next, we are set on embarking upon therapy in the form of retail pleasure - something long overdue for us stressed out citygals. Together, we will storm the shops of KL, looking for marvelous deals and fabulous clothes. and shoes. and jewelry. and handbags.

ANNNyway.

Sometime June/July, I hope to take another photo like this, only including those two who are missing from the picture, so to whom it may concern, bersiap2lah camwhore macam dulu2 ye?

Early Graduation Present

My husband gave this to me last weekend. Granted, it's not one of those fancy cameras which take amazing-looking pictures. In fact, reviewers describe it as an entry-level camera. I think as far as compact cameras go, this one's pretty good. It takes nice pictures and that's enough for me.

And one fine day, I will get over my laziness and take pictures of our cozy little loft and post them here. :) One day. Haha.

To no one in particular. Maybe myself.

When you're biting the hand(s) that are trying to feed you in order to fulfill some perversion that no one else understands, maybe it's time to look back, chalk it up as a mistake that you will never rectify and move on before they decide to do just that.

Just because I need to grow up and be the better person.

Challenged

Every once in a while, I look at everything around me and wonder what exactly it is I am doing here. This isn't exactly my dream job, although its got potential. Every time my boss gives me a new assignment, I have the urge to run away, because I am terrified of not being able to live up to his, or even MY OWN expectations.

I know my learning curve is so high right now it amazes even me, but I am scared. I want to run home and hide under the covers and never come out. The prospect of life just terrifies me. The thought of having to spend it here terrifies me even more, and the thought of going off and doing something else, continuing my studies or having kids or working elsewhere scares me most of all. We're all terrified of the unknown, but sometimes I wish I wasn't.

I see people leading their lives seemingly with ease and all the confidence in the world and I wish I was like them, although I know that deep inside, they must be as scared as I am. I want to stick around, for at least a year. I want stay still like the proverbial stone and gather all the moss I can in order for me to advance to the next phase of my life. I want to be able to go to work each morning with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what she is doing, and is not scared of doing it.

For that, I need staying power. It's true what they say. Running away is easy. Staying put, now that's the real challenge.

Pengsan

Sebab cantikkk!! I went here and almost hyperventilated sebab the shoes are gorgeoussssss!! I want them alllll.. ALLL. Tapi that's seriously not possible sebab gaji baru dapat for one week only.. :(

So I'm gonna have to settle with one je.. I can't wait to pick them up! :)

But they're GORGEOUSSS!!

The high-heeled shoes lah, yang lain2 tu tak pasti ye?

Ok, gotta go pengsan now..

I'm with the person I'd do this for right now.

I got it from here. It's one of the sweetest webcomics I've seen.

Buruk Sangka

One fine evening, as my husband and I were on the way up to our new apartment, something amusing happened. Our apartment building has one lift that only goes down to the carpark and two other lifts which go up to the unit floors. As we got out of the car park lift, I saw this crotchety pakcik gad look at us. I've seen him many times before, giving us dirty looks everytime we passed. I just passed it off as some unfriendly, overworked (overworked ke kalau keje dia duduk tengok orang without even questioning if they belong there?) harrassed guard just passing the time. Little did I know how his well-empty-space-endowed, diabolical head worked. As we walked out of the lift, he took one look at us, reached for some kind of button and pressed it.

And right then and there, the sounds of someone melodiously reciting the Al-Quran reverberated through the usually pin-drop silent lobby, loud and clear for all to hear.

Puzzled, my husband and I looked at each other and I glanced at my watch, wondering if it was customary for the lobby to play Quranic verses before a certain solat time, but it was well after the Isyak call-for prayers. So I turned around, and looked at the guard. And he had the smuggest, most self-righteous look I had ever seen on a moron. The apartment lifts arrived and we got in. Throughout it ALL, he never lost that smug look.

And it dawned on me that, probably not getting to a very high level in school because the empty space in his head was SO big that his little brain could not keep up with the rest of the kindergarten kids, the idiot decided to come to the conclusion that we were probably an unmarried couple who needed to be taught a very strong religious lesson and get scared out of our sinful living.

My assumptions are backed up by some other circumstances:

1. The fact that the lobby speakers NEVER play anything. It's perfect silence, all the way. I have NEVER heard a song, a jingle or even elevator music coming out of them.

2. Once, my husband was coming up to our unit with a trolley full of things. Somehow, the trolley tipped over and everything on it dropped and scattered all across the lobby. Coincidentally, this same guard was on duty, and he completely ignored the fact that my husband was in trouble and needed help. I have no qualms to say that any other guard would have lent a hand.

3. The residence is mostly inhabited by expats who are looking for convenience and an affordable-ish place to stay. I think the management would rather take a neutral stance when it comes to religion, rather than risking offending anyone. So I highly doubt they would actually play the audio of Quran recitation at the lobby. Furthermore, refer to #1.

So in conclusion: Aku yang ter-buruk sangka dan terlebih paranoid ke, pakcik gad tu yang memang buruk sangka sekarang?

Tolong jawab, plis?

How NOT to be a mom

I got this from Notalwaysright. When I read this, I felt like slapping the woman and knocking her head onto a wall multiple times until her brain registered that she was a total idiot. I mean, seriously?


At Least Someone Is Receiving Maintenance…
Clinic | North Carolina, USA

(I work at an asthma and allergy specialists office, and a mom called me 5 minutes to 5:00 pm on a Friday. We were getting ready to close for the weekend.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, my name is ****, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I need to bring my son in…”

Me: “Ma’am, we close our office at 5:00pm, and we don’t work weekends. Would you like to talk to the nurse?”

Caller: “No, he needs to see a doctor right now!”

Me: “Well, we have our doctor on call - you’re more than welcome to call him. He can answer your questions and help with anything–”

Caller: “Do you speak English?! I just told you that my son needs to be seen right now! He’s had this cough since Monday, and he hasn’t been breathing right since he got it!”

Me: “Well, it seems that if he’s been that bad since Monday, you would have brought him in then to be seen, or even Tuesday, and not wait until the weekend to call…”

Caller: “I was really busy this week! I had an appointment at the salon almost every day after work to get my hair done, my nails…. I just didn’t have time! I have time today because the stylist just called me; she had an emergency and had to re-schedule.”

Me: “Ma’am, right now our office is closed. Please take your son to the emergency room, as it seems like he needs to be seen immediately to have that cough taken care of.”

Caller: *very agitated* “If I take him to the ER, that’s a $100.00 copay! That would eat into my salon funds!”

Me: “…”

How can I change the world when the words won't come out?

I want to write. My fingers itch for it. And yet, when I put my fingers onto the keys, my brain gets stuck in sleep mode and I am somehow unable to come up with something good. I blog hop for a while but it doesn't work. Those mountains of words I see before me only make my brain want to crawl further into its grey blankets and snuggle up against its pillows. I am stuck. I'm loss for words. I'm uninspired.

Back then, I used to be able to put pen to paper and come up with something good. Only I can't confirm that with testimonials because the only person whose ever seen what I write, is me. Back then, my words were so precious to me that I refused to let anyone take a peek at them. My terror at having someone look into my deepest, most secret thoughts was so massive that my heart just skipped a beat whenever I thought about it. I used to let the ink flow freely on white surface. I used to just do it without even having to think much about it. And then I'd keep it away safely, locked up, just so no one can find me and tell me it's no good. My stash grew bigger and bigger over the years, until, one day, I looked at it, still unwilling to let someone look it over, and decided that no one else ever will. I crumpled each piece up, threw them into a big wastebag and tossed it out into the garbage bin.

So it's ironic that now, now when I realise my love for words and how much I want to be the one producing them and how I want people to see them, I'm stuck.

Atuk

My grandfather was a great man. He was successful. He had a horrendous temper which he had no qualms about letting loose as soon as things weren't going his way. I remember, once, during Hari Raya, he had specifically directed the caterers to place their tents in a different place they usually did. The project manager decided she knew better and went with her original plan. That raya was obviously not a very good one for my mom, my uncles and aunt, and, above all, the caterers. Yet, despite that, he was a very kind man. He never hesitated to help anyone who came to him for help. In spite of his ferocious temper, he was loved by his workers. Most of them stayed loyal to him until the day he passed on, and some of them are still very close family friends. That was the kind of impact my grandfather made on the people around him.

I don't have many pictures of him, since my family is not one that takes many photos. We keep our memories in our hearts, and until now, 5 years since he left us, he is still in mine. I remember the way his eyes used to crinkle with amusement whenever I did anything silly. I remember the smell of cigars, and the way he used to smile at me and say "Clever girl!". I remember the way I used to sit on his lap while he caught his favourite shows on tv. I also remember the times when his memory dwindled, closer to his death. He'd sit on his favourite spot on one of the sofas, hold out a hand and go "Allo! Allo!" because he couldn't remember our names. It was the cutest thing ever, and it cracked us up everytime.

Unfortunately, as I grew up, my grandfather drifted further and further away from me. I was (like all) an egocentric adolescent, and I seemed to think the world revolved around me. I was sullen and moody. He was getting sicker and sicker, and most of his time was spent at his third wife's house, where she kept him practically under lock and key.

I loved my grandpa. Even as we drifted away from each other, he would defend me whenever someone spoke of me badly. Even though I was all grown up, I was always his "clever girl". The same baby girl he held in his arms when I was still only a few days old and exclaimed "My first grandchild is going to be clever. She will grow up to be someone".

I really wish that he could be there when I graduate in a month's time. Then again, I'd like to think that he's watching over me, proud of everything I'm doing, of everything that I've achieved, however insignificant, in my 24 years of life.