How To Tell if Your Wife is a Total Psycho

Do you question your wife's sanity?







Do you cringe everytime she walks into a room?





Do you LOVE going to work each morning and dread to come home each day?





Fear for the safety of yourself and your children?






If you answered yes to all of the questions above, your wife may be a psycho.

Here's how to confirm your suspicions:

Your wife is a psycho if:

1. 'If your mother and I were both drowning in the ocean, who would you save?'

If this question ever pops out of your wife's mouth, you may want to brace yourself. Ready? Now if she asks this question IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER, run! You're in trouble. Your wife is well on her way to be a psycho, if she isn't yet.

2. Her idea of competition is comparing her wealth to every single woman in your family.

She earns quite a bit of money and saves quite a lot by rushing to every sale and cutting up all the coupons she can find. Good financial organiser? Think again. When the reason she does this is so she can compare herself to the women in your family, then you're in trouble.

She skulks around trying to find out how much your sister(s) earn and have saved up over the years and smirks when it's less than what she has. She says things like "Yeah, I'm rich. Rich people always do _________" in front of your low-income earning sister. Or "How much does your tv cost, mom? Oh! Mine costs more!" in front of your mother.

3. She thinks she's the most entitled to any inheritance that your family has

When your wife sulks whenever one of your sisters get jewelry or ANYTHING from your mom, something is wrong somewhere. When she ostracizes your sister AND mother for that very purpose, your world is officially upside down.

The psycho wife, for some obscure, complicated, insane reason, thinks she's entitled tothis piece of jewelry, NOT your sister. Don't even try to understand the inner workings of her psycho brain. She just thinks she is.

4. She rations every single thing in the house.

This, of course, includes food. She cooks sparsely, and does NOT care if you, her husband, OR your kids are really hungry. Eat what's on the table and NOTHING else. Oh, and the maid does is not included in the ration. The maid has to find her own food, NOT FROM YOUR WIFE"'S KITCHEN, mind you. If any little morsel goes missing, the maid gets the blame and has to pay it back.

5. When you have arguments, she brandishes the kitchen knife.

The psycho wife attacks you with a sharp object whenever you have an argument. If you have one on your birthday, expect not to be served dinner. If you have one too often, expect to be kicked out to your OWN house. And when you don't come back, expect her to call your mom and ask "Orang gila tu ada pergi sana tak?" and gloat over the fact that she managed to kick you out of your own house.


Need I say more? If ANY of these apply to your wife, trust me, she is a psycho. You might want to get her some help, or, even better, get your kids and RUN. Oh, and get that restraining order while you're at it.