Holier Than Thou

I don't like people who go around with an all holier than thou attitude. I'm not saying I don't take advice. I realise that religion-wise, there are so many ways that I'm still lacking, and I hope to one day grow as a muslim. I value the advise given by people who do it with the purest intention of helping me become a better person. I believe that there are right and wrong ways to do it, and, sadly, SO many people lack the tact and courtesy of doing it the right way.

If you want to tell me something, tell it to my face. Pull me aside and let me know what I'm doing wrong. Let me know, with the softest and most polite words you can muster, the way it should be. Trust me, I may be tersentap at first, but when I think about it later, I will appreciate what you tried to do and bersyukur that there is someone out there, besides my family members, who cares about me so much that he/she would tegur me that way.

I despise the fact that people are so inclined towards using public channels to preach to someone personally. Joking or serious, doing it this way is annoying and wrong, especially because most of the time, it's embarrassing and hurtful to the person it's intended for.

Statuses on FB seem to be the favourite medium of preaching. Not their own statuses, no. Heaven forbid they'd just post a general status on their own page that would subtly educate the people it's intended for. Usually, these holier than thous target other people's status updates For example, someone I know posts a status about how frustrated he was that he overslept throughout his nap (from noon until 6). Some holier than thou bugger decides it would be amusing to question "mana zohor?". Obviously, the original poster got offended because, si idiot ni failed to read between the lines and grasp the fact that this person was lamenting his mistake of over-napping and missing all the vital things that should have happened in between.

OR, (and this is a HUGE favourite among local holier than thous) someone posts a status about how they're confused and disoriented or rasa tak tenteram, asking their friends for help or suggestions that might help with their problem. the holier than thou will inevitably comment "Sembahyang". How do you know they haven't done it? And why is it necessary to give those one-word answers just like that? Kalau nak bagi nasihat, bagi elok2.

Just imagine it this waylah, imgine FB tu real life. You go up to a friend, you tell her your problems and ask her what she thinks you should do. She looks at you, says "sembahyang." and walks away. Rude tak? Rude kan?

So nak bagi nasihat, tolong la bagi elok2. Languages and common courtesy were invented for these very purposes. If you HAVE to comment on someone's status update with religious words of wisdom, do so in a way that doesn't offend or humiliate them. If you want to tell them to pray to god for guidance, tell them in a way that isn't akin to a slap in the face. If you HAVE to. Alternatively, do it in private. FYI, FB is not just about public wall updates. There is this little thing called the 'inbox'. It's a marvelous little invention on FB's part, where you can, (amazingly) personally preach all you want to someone without it being obvious to every other tom, dick or harry that's on their facebook friends list.

Bukan tak boleh nasihat orang. Boleh. Tapi buat dengan cara yang baik. That's all I'm saying.