House of Horrors

*Sigh*

I remember leaving the apartment in perfect condition. Now that we've got it back, I realise that the previous tenants were total unhygienic slobs. I mean seriously. We were so excited about living on our own, but the level of excitement plummeted instantly when we opened the front door to check out the condition of the house.

1. We had this awesome white couch which was huge and comfy. In fact, when we took the backrests away, Epol and I could actually fit on it really nicely and cuddled while we watched tv. The couch cover is now brown in colour and the material now looks like a piece of rag.

2. The yellow leather armchair is still yellow, but dusty as heck and sticky to boot.

3. The curtains look like they haven't been washed at all in the two years we haven't been living there

4. The house STINKS. Especially the master bedroom. It's an unnameable smell. Macam bau hamis badan orang tak mandi 10 tahun + bau rokok + (ok, at the risk of sounding totally racist here, which is not what I intend, fyi) bau babi. Tau tak? When you walk past a shop which sells pork, there's this certain smell. That's what the house smells like.

5. There are ashtrays in the sink. The house used to be a no-smoking house. Nak smoke, duduk kat balcony sorang-sorang or kindly step outside. BUT THERE ARE ASHTRAYS IN THE SINK :(

6. There is a pail in the cupboard underneath the kitchen sink. I think it's leaking or something.

7. Only the aircond in the dining area can be switched on with the remote. The room airconds seemed to have been switched off in a hurry using the main switch instead of the aircond, judging from the fact that the flaps are wide open.

8. The second room (the room we used to occupy) is the only room in the house that does not stink. However, the doorknob is mangled in ways that I seriously wouldn't have ever imagined. It must've also been twisted off at one point. Tak tau la ada orang bergaduh kunci diri dalam bilik and the other person tried to break the door down ke apa ke, but now, it looks like the doorknob has been sloppily taped back onto the door. Buruk gila.

Also also also, when I switched on the room light, the swtich started crackling. CRACKLING! Like literally *snap crackle pop snap crackle pop cnap crackle pop* all the way, which scared the heck out of me.

9. Guest bathroom lights totally out.

10. Loose cupboard in kitchen

11. Shoeprints all over the stinky master bedroom

12. Dirty sheets and pillows still in their pillowcases in every bed of the house.

There did not seem to be any attempt of cleaning the house before leaving it whatsoever.

And so we have to:

1. Hire a professional cleaning service to scrub the place clean from top to toe (literally). I am going to insist on mopping, vacuum and sweeping, and a thorough wipe down of every single nook, cranny, crevice and drawer. Normally, I would do this myself (like I did with the apartment we rented last year before we gave it back to the landlord) but geli tau tak? geli.

2. Get an electrician to fix the wiring of everything.

3. Get a plumber to fix all the pipes and whatnot

4. Reupholster the couch.

5. Open up every single window and door that we can and switch the fans on at full blast to air the house out like crazy and get rid of that disgusting smell

6. burn all of those bedsheets left behind

Did I miss anything out? I don't think so. And just to prove how bad the house really is, I will definitely be taking pictures the next time I go there.