Of Judging and Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding was something that I had looked forward to doing since I was pregnant. I was excited about the thought of providing everything my baby needs to survive.

So imagine how devastated I was when I discovered early on that it was not meant to be. Believe me, the decision that was forced upon me wasn't an easy one to make. Even after it happened, I was in denial. I kept doubting myself for no longer being able to provide sustenance to Hana, to instead turn to formula milk, even though I knew and was told time and time again that this was not something I could control. I felt like the worse mother in the world, even on my own.

Lately, I've noticed that BF has become sort of a trend again. I suppose after the tainted milk from China fiasco, more and more people began to turn back to basics and start distrusting manufacturers.

And so I've also noticed a certain pride in some mothers when they are able to BF their child for as long as they want to, which is justified, of course. BF-ing isn't easy, esp when you're working, so they have every right to be proud.

What gets to me is how easily some of these women judge others for not/not being able to breastfeed their own children.

Breastfeeding creates an extra bond between a mother and her child. It's a process where the mother gives her baby everything she needs to sustain herself, even to the point of providing immunity. And for this reason, I am of the opinion that it is a very personal, very private thing.

"Kenapa u stop breastfeeding?" "Why aren't you breastfeeding your baby?" in my opinion, are questions that should never EVER be asked. Even worse are reprimands. "Breastmilk is the best for a baby. sayang you tak breastfeed." If a mother decides to stop, or even if she is forced to stop, this is none of anyone else's business.

It's personal. And more often than not, it's painful. At least it was for me. It hurt, knowing I couldn't provide Hana with what I promised her when she was in my womb.

So the next time a mother reveals that she doesn't BF her baby or no longer does, respect her feelings and privacy. Don't make her feel like crap. Like I said, it's no ones business but hers.

When in doubt, use your common sense.