Just another day at work

picture courtesy of (click)

I think they let just anyone manage the phone at offices these days. You know how I regularly go to NotAlwaysRight? Well, here is a real-life, it happened to me, genuine, the customer IS right situation.

Lately, I've been in charge of applying for a grant for one of my company's sister companies. One of the terms of the grant is that the applicant has to provide 3 different quotations from 3 different suppliers for items which it wishes to purchse and claim. There I was, on my search, getting through (on the phone) to really nice people who even offered to get quotations for items they didn't sell, when I came across two such conversations:

Idiot: Hello?! (Bear in mind that good companies/receptionists always answer the phone with "Hello, (insert company name)" and the optional "(insert name) speaking. She obviously did none of these)

Me: Hi, my name is Azurin from ___________.

Idiot: Yes?

Me: My company is surveying some items, and we'd like quotations for them, I wonder if-

Idiot: HAH? SERVING?

Me: Surveying

Idiot: HAH?

Me:... LOOKING FOR. BUYING. We're looking for some items and-

Idiot: ITEMS?! WHAT ITEMS?!
(At this point, I'm thinking, "Wait, maybe I got the wrong number"

Me: This is ___________ right?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: You sell computer stuff right?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: Oookk. So here are the items I'm looking for. Do you have a Dell Server?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: Ok, do you supply Apple Computers?

Idiot: Yes.

Me: What about Adobe softwares?

Idiot: (in very bored tones) YYeeeesssssss.

Me: Okay, so can I get quotations for those items, please?

Idiot: (Without another word, transfers me on to someone else who was nicer, more accommodating and more knowledgable. Thank God)

Ugghh. What a moron. Seriously.

Needless to say, the other similar conversation went along those lines too. Seriously, if you're idiotic enough to not know that computer hardware/software YOUR company sells are considered ITEMS too, maybe you should go back to school. Better yet, maybe you should learn some friggin manners while you're at it.

Night Shift

The time is 3.08am. I am at my office, struggling to stay awake. I look like a zombie. I know this because the moment I stepped into my cubicle, a colleague did a double take and asked me if I had gotten any sleep at all yesterday after work. I also know this because I went to the bathroom to wash my face and also did a double take because my eyes are bloodshot and my skin has turned slightly grey, and looks really coarse and uneven. Like a zombie's.

My 'bodyguards' just left to go get something to eat a few minutes ago and told me to get some sleep, but being silly stubborn me, I don't really feel like it. I mean, I feel like it, but I really don't. How's that?

After a whole year of having a partner everytime I go to sleep, it feels weird to doze off any old where without that partner by my side. If I'm being nauseating, it's because I'm totally nauseated. That's what apparently happens to me when I get 3hours of sleep over the span of two days. I retch a lot even though my gut is empty.

Also, I credit my emotional instability at this moment to the lack of sleep. After my colleagues left, I started crying because I am a total crybaby zombie.

Oh yeah, I not only look like a zombie, I also feel like one right now. At least, this is what I think a zombie feels like, only without the tears. I mean, put a zombie in front of a computer and ask him/her to monitor the news and his/her face will probably look just like mine, except if the features are different.

If I am being incoherent, I'm guessing it's because that's how zombies act like.

So I now look, feel and act like a zombie.

Welcome to the night shift, Zurin.

Interview

I have a job interview tomorrow.

I pray that I get it, because it seems to be a position that will give me VERY valuable experience for what I plan to do with my life.

So dear friends, if you're reading this, please help me doa that I will be the one considered for the job and outshine the other 4 who were called for the interview.

Wish me luck!

Of Results, Decisions and the Future

Lately, a lot of good things seem to be coming to me. I am caught in a bubble of excitement and happiness and satisfaction, and yet in a way, it's making me even more confused about my choices in life.

I know I've blogged about this before, but now that I know i might be able to get somewhere, there seems to be so many places to go to. And ALL of them appeal to me and I realise that I just cannot afford to make the wrong decision right now.

Suddenly, the complications of life is rushing towards me in a manner that makes me feel as if I'm about to get hit by a really large bus. And I still have no idea what to do. The choices and opportunities I have are massive and yet I have to choose very carefully or I risk taking the wrong step and botching my life up.

It's easy for other people to give me advice:

Be a lecturer. It's easy. You get good pay and when the students are on leave, you get leave too.

Bear in mind that the people saying this aren't lecturers. Also, this isn't my first choice, since I really have no intention of teaching despite the course I took. As someone once said "For most people, the degree is just a way for them to get a job"

Continue your studies! This way, you don't lose your momentum. And it's WAAAYYY easier to get financial support, especially with your results. You can lobby for a scholarship

I WANT to do this. Only one problem. I'm slightly tired of studying. Really.

Work first. You can always continue later. If you continue now then you won't have the experience you need to do your dissertation. Also, your perceptions will have changed and it will be easier for you

Sigh.

See, I have a plan. Sorta. But when I tell someone (read: a person who thinks they have WAY more experience and knowledge than I do and is superior in every way) I can see their reactions. They work hard to maintain their politeness when they ask me the question "Why?" And honestly, I see the way they struggle to understand my reasons and I can practically FEEL them chucking it out of their minds just the way they do with trash.

And then, disregarding everything I've just said, they give their reasons (the bold words above) as to why I SHOULD continue my studies/work/be a lecturer NOW NOW NOW.

Dearest Makcik/Pakcik/Aunty/Uncle:

I appreciate your advice, I really do. But right now I am confused. And I know you're just trying to make me un-confused, but really, you're not. Somehow, I feel this expectation put upon my humble shoulders and that should I pursue a course different to the one that you've recommended, then I will somehow or other disappoint and hurt you. I don't intend to, please bear that in mind. I just want to do this for myself, not for you or any other person. I want to chart my own course in life and I want to be happy doing it, and if I try to please all of you, I doubt I will be.

So I will take your advice into careful consideration and decide for myself what is right and what it wrong, and always know that whatever I choose for myself, I CHOSE IT. No one else. And with that, I will bear all responsibilities and consequences as results of my actions.

Thank you.

So, time to close my eyes and take a HUGE leap of faith. Wish me luck.

What I want to be when I Grow Up

Lol. Tak sedar diri kan? Dah jadi bini orang tak grow up lagi ke?

But this is the standard essay that we have to write in school every year, so saya perasan la, konon2 I'm still in school.

I'm so confused right now. There are so many things I want to do with my life, but I don't really have a definite plan, and a part of me is panicking and wondering if I will ever be successful...

So here are the things I want to do

1. Travel - I so want to see the world before I have to settle down. But then I need money, of course, which brings me to:

2. Get a stable job. After 4 years of studying to be a teacher, I now realise that I may not have the talent for that, especially when it comes to teaching hormone ridden bratty teenagers who think they are all grown up but in reality are still whiny little kids. So now I am rethinking my options. I still love the language very much and would love to sink myself into a career where I can write... I just don't know. I also enjoyed it whenever I did any volunteer work (especially when it came to events), but I'm really not sure how I can translate that into the working world. Not yet, anyway.

3. I REALLY want to do my Masters. But I'm I'm a bit tired of studying. Seriously. I've been going to school since I was 2 (yes, I know, kindergarten doesn't count, but I didn't go to those main-main kindergartens/taska/nursery types, I actually went to a kindergarten where the teachers taught us stuff and were very very garang and had lots of homework), and I'm now 23. You do the math. Lately, I've been having a hard time cramming any information into my little brain, so while I long to continue my studies, I do admit that I should be taking a break.

4. Stay at home and just rest. Not really an option since I need to contribute to the finances now that I'm married.

5. Have KIDS. Not right now, I guess, since I'm neither emotionally or financially or physically (yeke?) ready for it.

SO, what I figure is:

I will work temporarily, for about a year or two, and then either take a break to do my masters or do it part-time, and go travelling while I'm at it!

LOL.

I don't know.

Right now, the same phrase keeps running through my head over and over again:

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

So there.

Reasons why I shouldn't be writing this post:

1. My research chapters 1, 2 and 3 have yet to be ammended

2. I still have my Family Counselling final project to complete by tomorrow

3. My first paper is on thursday (and NOT friday like I thought earlier. Bodoh, Zurin, Bodoh. You need to get your memory checked. Or at least your attention span.) and I haven't started revising AT ALL

4. I need to start planning the trip we're having (although no one seems to be up for it anymore)

5. I am super super busy.

Reasons why I AM writing this post.

1. I really have no idea how to redraft those chapters and frankly speaking, I have no mood to do so

2. Since the research paper is top priority, I can't get started on my final project (eceh)

3. Since the research paper is top priprity and the final project is priority no.2, I can't start studying yet (alasan bongok)

4. No one seems to be up for the trip anymore

5. I don't WANT to be super busy. It means I don't get enough sleep and I stuff my face because I work my brain all day and I get hungry really really fast.

Conclusion:

GOD, I'll be glad when this is OVER.

Lalalalalalala....

Half of my thesis got rejected and I have yet to do the other half since I've been swamped with other assignments. Does that mean that

a) My thesis is 0% complete; and
b) That I'm quite dead?

I think so lah.

*post orang dah nak dapat nervous break down.

Some people say...

... that it's easier to work with strangers than it is with friends...
To my surprise, I now agree with the statement.