Finding Out

This is more of an attempt for me to record some important moments in my life than actually about telling people how it happened, so you're really not obliged to read this boring tale of how I found out I was pregnant. (I'm exactly 14 weeks along today by calculations, by the way. WOOHOO! Officially the Second Trimester!)


So anyway, it was sometime in December. (This is kinda horrible of me, but I don't really remember the exact date). I had been having extreme hormonal issues (as some of you could attest, due to my extremely emo statuses on Facebook - I eventually deleted the thing sebab menyampah sangat). Basically, my tummy was hurting, my moods were swinging faster than the revolving swings at amusement parks. I was snapping at everyone. And I MEAN everyone. the husband, toll gate operators, drivers on the road, cashiers. Suffice to say, I was a total bitch. heh.

I took a pregnancy test but it was negative.

So he took me to our GP since I was hurting on the right side of my abdomen. After getting checked and telling him all of the symptoms, the GP asked my if I was pregnant. Tolh him I took a test 2 weeks before the visit, and he said then I probably wasn't pregnant. He said that it was most probably another cyst, and that there was nothing he could do to help with the symptoms and the only way for it to get better was for me to get pregnant. So of course, I went home very frustrated, and spent that night crying to poor hubby about how I couldn't stand having to go through it my whole life. Dramatic kan? haha.

Anyway, two days later, while unpacking (we had just moved from mom's house into our own) I found an extra pregnancy test and decided, for the heck of it, to just take it.

You know how when you REALLY want a baby, after peeing on that stick, you kinda hold your breath and can't wait to look, and your heart beats really really fast and you're hoping and hoping and hoping, and then only one line shows up and you feel this intense disappointment?

I felt none of that.

I took the test, left the bathroom and continued with unpacking, and promptly forgot about it. Then I went back into the bathroom and there were TWO LINES. Not one. TWO.

I rushed over to the computer, where the only person online I could panic about it to was my sister (Epol was in a meeting, so his gtalk read "idle" - nevertheless, I pmed him anyway and sent a frantic, panicked message about how I took a test and it was positive). She was really excited but I was weary because I had read about false positives.

Epol came back online, we discussed it and he came back that day with extra kits. LOL. I took one that night, and another the next morning, both positive, so I went back to my GP who was really excited for us. But he told us that I should get an ultrasound scan right away which was quite unorthodox. Wouldn't tell us why exactly, but he did say that it was because of my condition.

I suspected that he was worried about how the pregnancy might be ectopic, since I was having pains on the right side of my abdomen.

So Epol took that friday off and we went to Dr Idris in TTDI, explained what my GP said, and he did a scan, and lo and behold. There was the pregnancy sac, right in the middle of my uterus, right where it was supposed to be.

I think only Allah knows how I felt at that exact moment. It was almost a miracle for me. Merely two or three days before, I thought that I would never ever get pregnant, and there it was, proving me wrong.

And that was how I found out I was pregnant. And now here, I am in my 14th week.

Welcoming 2010

With amazing company, namely:

1. Reliving my childhood with these little munchkins



who helped me find out that Littlefoot's mother's death STILL makes me cry after all these years, and that Sharptooth STILL scares me. I am happy to say that I still find this movie one of the best movies ever made.

2. Reliving my husband's childhood with them



Although I have to admit I fell asleep a few times during the show. Not that the movie is boring, I think I was a bit tired.

3. And of course, last but certainly not least, with the hubby.

The two movies ended right before the countdown and guess what?

Our room has a beautiful view of One Utama and The Curve and as the clock struck 12, we managed to bag ourselves TWO hassle-free, crowd-free, FREE fireworks shows, right from the comfort of our own bedroom.

This is the life. :)

Happy New Year Everyone!

p/s: The Land Before Time picture taken from The New Parent's Guide and Transformers 1986 picture taken from Tfkenkon.com

Things I Don't Get To Say

I've always been pretty introverted. I don't find pleasure in telling the whole wide world how I feel about things. When someone does something that angers me or makes me uncomfortable, I usually keep it in because I don't like confrontations. In fact, I used to spend my whole life running away from such things.

Lately, I've been trying to change that about myself. Sometimes, it's better to make yourself heard and risk hurting people than it is to just keep quiet and let others hurt you again and again. At the very least, they know how you feel.

But then there are just some things I still don't get to say. With certain people, I bite my tongue because I know the consequences of letting my mouth run would be too grave to even consider.

But I still hate it when someone tries to make me into a puppet. When they pull on the invisible strings that they somehow attached to my mind and body and make me do things for their benefit. I hate it when someone uses me in order to get to someone else and make them do exactly what they'd like them to do.

I'm not a puppet, not a doll, not your dog. I am a human being, with feelings, desires and my own brain, which I use to determine what is right and wrong by my own standards, which I have been taught to do by my parents. And I believe that what my parents have taught me are wonderful things that are to be praised, not ignore. They taught me to respect, which is why I hold my tongue. They taught me about free will, which is why they have never forced me to do anything that I don't want to do. They've taught me really well.

So I don't think there is any need for anyone to come waltzing into my life and deciding that they've got the right to control in according to their whims and fancies. I am who I am, and maybe some people should respect that as much as I respect and love them.

Leg Cramp

Last night, while I was sleeping, I stretched my legs and then I got a horrible cramp. I woke up and started crying out in pain and my husband sleepily made it right again through my cries.

It brings back memories about how my little sister used to wake up yelling in the middle of the night because she frequently got cramps. I was a tween then and I used to be so annoyed whenever it happened, because I never got any. I really didn't know why there was the need to yell so loudly whenever it happened. I dunno, now I think that I was just stupid and selfish because it hurts! Believe it or not, this is the first time I've ever gotten a cramp on my calf. After it got better, I started getting sad because of how I felt all those years ago.

I still have a lot to learn apparently.