Atuk

My grandfather was a great man. He was successful. He had a horrendous temper which he had no qualms about letting loose as soon as things weren't going his way. I remember, once, during Hari Raya, he had specifically directed the caterers to place their tents in a different place they usually did. The project manager decided she knew better and went with her original plan. That raya was obviously not a very good one for my mom, my uncles and aunt, and, above all, the caterers. Yet, despite that, he was a very kind man. He never hesitated to help anyone who came to him for help. In spite of his ferocious temper, he was loved by his workers. Most of them stayed loyal to him until the day he passed on, and some of them are still very close family friends. That was the kind of impact my grandfather made on the people around him.

I don't have many pictures of him, since my family is not one that takes many photos. We keep our memories in our hearts, and until now, 5 years since he left us, he is still in mine. I remember the way his eyes used to crinkle with amusement whenever I did anything silly. I remember the smell of cigars, and the way he used to smile at me and say "Clever girl!". I remember the way I used to sit on his lap while he caught his favourite shows on tv. I also remember the times when his memory dwindled, closer to his death. He'd sit on his favourite spot on one of the sofas, hold out a hand and go "Allo! Allo!" because he couldn't remember our names. It was the cutest thing ever, and it cracked us up everytime.

Unfortunately, as I grew up, my grandfather drifted further and further away from me. I was (like all) an egocentric adolescent, and I seemed to think the world revolved around me. I was sullen and moody. He was getting sicker and sicker, and most of his time was spent at his third wife's house, where she kept him practically under lock and key.

I loved my grandpa. Even as we drifted away from each other, he would defend me whenever someone spoke of me badly. Even though I was all grown up, I was always his "clever girl". The same baby girl he held in his arms when I was still only a few days old and exclaimed "My first grandchild is going to be clever. She will grow up to be someone".

I really wish that he could be there when I graduate in a month's time. Then again, I'd like to think that he's watching over me, proud of everything I'm doing, of everything that I've achieved, however insignificant, in my 24 years of life.