Halal and Haram

Lately, there's been a slew of tweets, FB posts and blog posts highlighting the halal haram of certain establishments or certain products.

From my observation, most of these posts came from people who didn't bother doing their research properly. Hence, the news became viral, spreading uncontrollably from screen to screen. By the time said establishment or company issues a statement to declare their innocence (or give any type of confirmation) it's already too late. Funnily enough, these same people either don't bother spreading the truth when it comes out or just don't care to know about it at all.

I once looked up the ingredient stated in a particular product which so-called made it 'haram'. I really don't remember which ingredient it was, but I do remember that the product was a soft drink and said ingredient konon2nya had pig fat in it.

When I looked it up, I found out (unsurprisingly) that this ingredient DID NOT CONTAIN ANY TYPE OF FAT AT ALL, PIG OR OTHERWISE. Obviously, I sent the info to the person who was spreading the message at the time, but what about the others who had already told all of their friends? The damage had been done, and all because people refuse to look up a few simple facts.

Come on, people. We live in the age of Google and Wiki. Use them.

As for these establishments, spending less than 10 minutes verifying that they're halal by browsing JAKIM's website or better yet, calling them up really is worth the hassle.

Then no one can accuse you of fitnah, right? And you can rest easy and be assured that the establishments you frequent are indeed halal, and the food and drinks are safe for your consumption. Isn't that better than listening to the grapevine and causing damage to innocent people?

On to Better Things

After 5 years, I've decided to put on the tudung again. I've had my share of perceived fun and freedom (and it's true, a non tudung wearer does have more fun and a lot more freedom compared to someone who does) but now I'm married (almost 3 years) and we're trying to conceive and if I intend on being a role model to my kids, something has to change.

The decision didn't come easy, though. I thought hard about it over almost two months. The desire came sometime in the beginning of Ramadhan, but I wasn't sure. As most people who knows me are aware, I used to wear the tudung for a while, but decided to take it off. I did not want history to repeat itself, and so I decided to sit on it.
There were some things I thought I wanted to do first before I did it.

I know some would say that that type of change doesn't come from the heart. That to be truly 'ikhlas' I should have just woken up one day and done it without thinking about anything else. I disagree. I know myself. When it comes to decisions, my strongest comes after a lot of thinking, not a spur of the moment thing. Honestly, been there, done that. I was at Matriculation and I had to put on the tudung, and I just thought "I'm just gonna put it on, since I already have it on". Clearly, that didn't work and my decision was shortlived. So here, I want to clarify for anyone who might think that my decision is not ikhlas, I believe that mine was very much so, simply because I deemed it too important to just do. Simply because I wanted to think about it and deliberate, and BE ABSOLUTELY SURE. And now I am.

I never ever anticipated the overwhelming response I received: From my husband, mom and my sisters, to my mother-in-law, to two of my best friends, Baya and Julie (who, coincidentally, was struggling to make the same decisions as well) and to an unexpected source of encouragement, someone who I had just met sometime in July, Adnin.

I received links, support, encouragement, shopping trips and styling tips. And all this was before I put it on!

And when I finally made this decision, I received compliments and hugs. Although I was terrified and worried that I wouldn't be able to cope, the support I received has made me even surer than ever that this is the path I want to and should take.

Hopefully, with this change, I'm moving on to better things.

Of Setting Good Examples

This is a true story.

A Malaysian woman married a English man, and her being muslim, the man, of course, converted to Islam and the newlyweds moved to UK to start a new life. The early years were wonderful for them. The man was a good convert. Sure, he converted for love and marriage, but he became a good muslim. He prayed five times a day, fasted during Ramadhan and took good care of his wife. HE WAS A GOOD MUSLIM.

And then they came back to Malaysia, because he was on a business trip. As customary with business trips, he had to entertain some clients at a bar. He wasn't going to drink. He didn't drink. After all, he was a good muslim.

At the entrance to the bar, he noticed some Malay men walking in. A few had been sent by what looked like their wives, judging by the fact that they salam-ed the husbands before they went off.

And then what did the men do? They walked into the bar, where there were several callgirls waiting. They each chose one callgirl, sat down, ordered more alcohol than most of the other tables which were filled with non-muslims, and, according to his words "did very very disgusting things with the girls".

He came home furious. And told his wife "I'm not doing anything you tell me to do in Islam anymore!"

She was shocked and wanted to know why. So he told her what he saw, and he said "I don't want to become like those men"

Sure, you could say that these men are the minority and that he should know better than to think he would become like them. You could tell him that there are good and bad muslims, that he should strive to be like the good ones, not neglect the religion just because a few bad apples decided to be idiots.

But the fact remains. He was a good muslim. And then he saw the born-muslims commit those sinful, disgusting acts. These same men probably pray 5 times a day, and fast (or at least pretend to) during Ramadhan. I mean, why not? I've seen people who never fail to pray when they're supposed to and preach and preach and preach and then turn around, go to clubs and drink to their heart's content. So why not? And the fact remains that this man did not want to be like these born muslims.

And so he stopped praying. Stopped fasting. Stopped being a good muslim.

Talk about setting good examples.

disclaimer: this post has nothing to do with me agreeing to the non-muslim lifestyle. I'm a proud and practicing muslim. I try my best to pray 5 times a day, I don't drink, I don't eat pork.

All I'm trying to say here is that if we want others to understand our religion and want to know more about it, we have to show a better example, lest we turn more people off.

Holier Than Thou

I don't like people who go around with an all holier than thou attitude. I'm not saying I don't take advice. I realise that religion-wise, there are so many ways that I'm still lacking, and I hope to one day grow as a muslim. I value the advise given by people who do it with the purest intention of helping me become a better person. I believe that there are right and wrong ways to do it, and, sadly, SO many people lack the tact and courtesy of doing it the right way.

If you want to tell me something, tell it to my face. Pull me aside and let me know what I'm doing wrong. Let me know, with the softest and most polite words you can muster, the way it should be. Trust me, I may be tersentap at first, but when I think about it later, I will appreciate what you tried to do and bersyukur that there is someone out there, besides my family members, who cares about me so much that he/she would tegur me that way.

I despise the fact that people are so inclined towards using public channels to preach to someone personally. Joking or serious, doing it this way is annoying and wrong, especially because most of the time, it's embarrassing and hurtful to the person it's intended for.

Statuses on FB seem to be the favourite medium of preaching. Not their own statuses, no. Heaven forbid they'd just post a general status on their own page that would subtly educate the people it's intended for. Usually, these holier than thous target other people's status updates For example, someone I know posts a status about how frustrated he was that he overslept throughout his nap (from noon until 6). Some holier than thou bugger decides it would be amusing to question "mana zohor?". Obviously, the original poster got offended because, si idiot ni failed to read between the lines and grasp the fact that this person was lamenting his mistake of over-napping and missing all the vital things that should have happened in between.

OR, (and this is a HUGE favourite among local holier than thous) someone posts a status about how they're confused and disoriented or rasa tak tenteram, asking their friends for help or suggestions that might help with their problem. the holier than thou will inevitably comment "Sembahyang". How do you know they haven't done it? And why is it necessary to give those one-word answers just like that? Kalau nak bagi nasihat, bagi elok2.

Just imagine it this waylah, imgine FB tu real life. You go up to a friend, you tell her your problems and ask her what she thinks you should do. She looks at you, says "sembahyang." and walks away. Rude tak? Rude kan?

So nak bagi nasihat, tolong la bagi elok2. Languages and common courtesy were invented for these very purposes. If you HAVE to comment on someone's status update with religious words of wisdom, do so in a way that doesn't offend or humiliate them. If you want to tell them to pray to god for guidance, tell them in a way that isn't akin to a slap in the face. If you HAVE to. Alternatively, do it in private. FYI, FB is not just about public wall updates. There is this little thing called the 'inbox'. It's a marvelous little invention on FB's part, where you can, (amazingly) personally preach all you want to someone without it being obvious to every other tom, dick or harry that's on their facebook friends list.

Bukan tak boleh nasihat orang. Boleh. Tapi buat dengan cara yang baik. That's all I'm saying.