How To Tell if Your Wife is a Total Psycho

Do you question your wife's sanity?







Do you cringe everytime she walks into a room?





Do you LOVE going to work each morning and dread to come home each day?





Fear for the safety of yourself and your children?






If you answered yes to all of the questions above, your wife may be a psycho.

Here's how to confirm your suspicions:

Your wife is a psycho if:

1. 'If your mother and I were both drowning in the ocean, who would you save?'

If this question ever pops out of your wife's mouth, you may want to brace yourself. Ready? Now if she asks this question IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER, run! You're in trouble. Your wife is well on her way to be a psycho, if she isn't yet.

2. Her idea of competition is comparing her wealth to every single woman in your family.

She earns quite a bit of money and saves quite a lot by rushing to every sale and cutting up all the coupons she can find. Good financial organiser? Think again. When the reason she does this is so she can compare herself to the women in your family, then you're in trouble.

She skulks around trying to find out how much your sister(s) earn and have saved up over the years and smirks when it's less than what she has. She says things like "Yeah, I'm rich. Rich people always do _________" in front of your low-income earning sister. Or "How much does your tv cost, mom? Oh! Mine costs more!" in front of your mother.

3. She thinks she's the most entitled to any inheritance that your family has

When your wife sulks whenever one of your sisters get jewelry or ANYTHING from your mom, something is wrong somewhere. When she ostracizes your sister AND mother for that very purpose, your world is officially upside down.

The psycho wife, for some obscure, complicated, insane reason, thinks she's entitled tothis piece of jewelry, NOT your sister. Don't even try to understand the inner workings of her psycho brain. She just thinks she is.

4. She rations every single thing in the house.

This, of course, includes food. She cooks sparsely, and does NOT care if you, her husband, OR your kids are really hungry. Eat what's on the table and NOTHING else. Oh, and the maid does is not included in the ration. The maid has to find her own food, NOT FROM YOUR WIFE"'S KITCHEN, mind you. If any little morsel goes missing, the maid gets the blame and has to pay it back.

5. When you have arguments, she brandishes the kitchen knife.

The psycho wife attacks you with a sharp object whenever you have an argument. If you have one on your birthday, expect not to be served dinner. If you have one too often, expect to be kicked out to your OWN house. And when you don't come back, expect her to call your mom and ask "Orang gila tu ada pergi sana tak?" and gloat over the fact that she managed to kick you out of your own house.


Need I say more? If ANY of these apply to your wife, trust me, she is a psycho. You might want to get her some help, or, even better, get your kids and RUN. Oh, and get that restraining order while you're at it.

Maybe KL doesn't really like to be in the dark?

My husband and I, along with our friends decided to go to The Lookout Point to watch the lights being turned off in KL in lieu of the Earth Hour (not before making sure all the lights at home are already switched off and reminding our families to switch theirs off at 8.30pm).

Obviously, we weren't the only people who had the idea. The place was so full that we figured we couldn't even reach up to the actual point and stopped halfway there since the view from that spot was nice too. Cars were aligned along the hill and people had already gathered at the good spots by the time we got there.

Anyway, suffice to say, the whole thing was disappointing. Very few people participated. The KLCC and KL Tower Buildings, of course, did their parts, as did some of the other office buildings around them but that was about it. Most others were either too ignorant or didn't care about the earth enough to do this one little thing.

It's sad that they wouldn't even shut off their lights for one measly hour in support of something so global, but I guess that's just the way it is.

Hot Chocolate

There's absolutely nothing like a nice steaming mug of hazelnut hot chocolate on a rainy day to warm you up. Cuddling on the sofa alone, listening to the light pitter patter outside, with a warm mug in my hands, I take little sips, careful not to burn my tongue.

My heart is light today, thinking of the great things to come. Knowing very well that it won't be easy, knowing, anyway, that it won't take away the greatness of it. I've seen it before in other people. I envied them. I was scared for them. Now, I'm sitting here in a mix of excitement and anxiety.

I found what I was looking for and it isn't going to be cheap. It it certainly won't be a piece of cake. It won't be a walk in the park. But it'll certainly be ours. I'm sure of that, of how it's going to taste. As sweet as the warm chocolate sliding down my throat and settling into my tummy, making it feel warm and comfortable.

As sure as the smell of the rain that seeps into the house. As sure as how it mingles with the nutty, sweet smell of the drink cooling on the table in front of me.

I love this. I love that we're taking these steps. That we're moving on. That we're on the way to leading our own lives.

Light switches - check

Candles - check

Husband to cuddle with - check

By my account, I'm all ready for the Earth Hour 2009 this Saturday. Tell me if I missed anything out. ;p

If you don't know what that is (I doubt that), for one hour on 28 March 2009 from 8.30 to 9.30, people all over the world are going to turn off their (our) lights in a show of support for earth, or against global warming, whichever floats your boat.

So if you haven't decided to already, come join. If anything, it's a chance for you to get romantic with your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. :)

Go here if you want more details or if you are interested in signing up!

My thoughts in a spin cycle

How do people manage to plan their lives so carefully? Some of the people I know have their whole future cut out for them in neat little cake-pieces. Pure science in forms four and five with amazing results for SPM. Medicine in the UK or Indonesia or India. Get married at 25. Move to Australia and practice medicine there. Specialise. Kids at 28.

My whole life has been unplanned, one surprise after another. I took sub-science in form four and physical science matriculation as soon as my SPM results came out, did above average, but discovered that the only thing I liked about science is math. Maybe I should have gotten a clue then and taken actuarial science or something, but I thought I loved the language more. Besides, I went to UiTM and took TESL with the very noble intention of teaching that which I love so much to other people so they could see the beauty of the language. Somewhere along the way, I found out that I was really bad at teaching and even better at writing. I met someone and got married, which was not in my "plans" as screwed up as they were. I always envisioned myself being a career woman and all successful before I got married, but here I am, still a fresh graduate, still looking to make life-changing decisions, but married already.

I enjoy writing. And yet, at work, watching all these economic and financial news, something in me stirred and I got really interested in all the numbers again. I started wondering to myself if I made a mistake in taking TESL, if I should have done something to do with math and gone into banking instead. But then if I did, I probably wouldn't have met the one man who I'd jump into marriage so fast with. I wouldn't have met the person who I can just cuddle with and not talk at all and be content. The person with whom I can strike up any old mundane topic and still have a great conversation.

24 is looming, just around the corner, in fact, and yet I am still a big huge mess. Trying to figure out what to do if I nail this next interview. If I want to wait for something better, or just go with it. If it's going to lead me where I want to be, or just have that potential to keep me there, wondering when I'll ever get out.

I watch those planners live out their lives, eating those neat little pieces with a fork. Cutting each piece up into even neater, smaller pieces before putting it in their mouths and they look happy and fulfilled and it seems as if they ARE going where they've planned.

Me, I'm just hanging on to this solero-shot of a life which takes me up and down and up and down so fast that those moments sometimes make my stomach turn and do flip flops in my belly.

Cheesy as it sounds, even though I would not be going through a lot of the dark spots in my life had I not gotten married, I know I wouldn't have gone through any of the bright spots either. And somehow, those bright spots outshine the dark ones so much so that just being with him, being together with this great person, I know I can get through everything. Having him be so confident and so sure of my abilities. Him just being there when things get tough. My practicum, my AE, I wouldn't have gotten through them as well as I did had he not been there with me all the while.

So I guess those people can keep their neat little cake-pieces and their coordinated, planned lives. Mine is a mess, but it's a beautiful mess. And someday, I think I'll turn out fine, because no matter what, I have him by my side.

Confessions of a Lunatic

One day, an 18-year old girl named Elisabeth Fritzl lost her right to live a normal life, forever. Lured down into the basement by her father, under the pretense of needing help to carry a few things, she was locked into the small room. It would be 24 years later before she would see the outside world in person again.

During those excruciatingly long 24 years, she was raped continuously by the very man who fathered her. She had 7 children by him.

A few months ago, with a rare stroke of luck, she was finally able to tell her story. Yesterday, the man who had imprisoned and tortured her all those years pleaded guilty to all charges, after initially denying some of them.

The reason for his change of heart? According to his lawyer:

He changed his mind after seeing his daughter testify in court. He saw her and finally saw how she really felt about those 24 years. And so, he decided to plead guilty.

Elisabeth and her children now live in a mental health institution.

I'm not going to question how it was that during those 24 years he never saw or knew how she felt. I'm not even going to question how someone gets so depraved that he would go that far.

All I want to say is that Elisabeth and those children are finally out of their man-made hell. Yet, I somehow doubt that they will ever truly be free.

Apologies

I would like to convey my sincere apologies for yesterday's outburst. The entry was not meant for any of you. I was just really disappointed over the gall of some people and the great lengths they would go through to protect their pride. Lying seems to be something that just comes naturally, that happens without provocation or request.
What irks me is the fact that they would even go so far as to threaten the sanctity of a marriage in order to protect that pride. Coming from someone who I respect and look up to, it comes as an even harder hit than it would have had it just been someone I know just like that.

I'm not gonna go so far as to name the real problem or the person causing it here. After all, some things are meant to be kept as a secret right? Not between my husband and I, though. I tell him everything because I trust him and I made a promise to be truthful no matter what. So far, I believe I have kept that promise. So far, no one has fed me stories to tell him so that he would not know what is going on in my life. My problems are his, my family's are too and they love and care for him enough to trust him as much as I do.

Right now, all I'm hoping for is that Allah gives me the strength to get through this. I hope that the people who read this who care about me would doa for the same thing too.

Thank you, and I'm very sorry again.

Random Things People Don't Seem To Understand.

1. Guys: When a girl smiles at you, she's just trying to be friendly. Nope, she's not interested in you, not trying to flirt OR hit on you. Save all that "nose up in the air" and "SHE DID NOT!" bit and just smile back. Don't be vain, please. This sometimes applies to girls as well.

2. When you come over to talk to someone and that particular person is in conversation with someone else, you don't just cut in and start talking to this said person and ignore the other person there. This is ESPECIALLY true if you intend to talk to your friend in a language that the other person does not understand. It's rude.

3. On the same topic, when you come in and join a group of people who have been there for a while, don't just come, zero in on ONE person, sit down and start chatting to that person without even saying hi to the others first. That's rude too, PARTICULARLY if you actually know all these people. No, it's not okay to, in mid-conversation, realise that the person you're talking to is not the only one at the table and go "oh, hi [insert name], [another one], [yet another name]". It's insulting and very very annoying. Not to mention rude.

4. For service people, smile, for goodness' sake. You are getting paid to do this. You knew what you were getting into when you joined and decided to become a service person. So there is no reason to be surly and emo to the customer standing in front of you who is trying to make your day better by being nice to you. It's stupid because if said customer gets fed up and loses his/her cool, then there's always a good chance that you would get in trouble.

5. The signal lever on cars are there for a reason. You use it when you're supposed to switch lanes or turn into a junction. USE IT. Oh, and by the way, it's not ok to turn on said signal one second before you turn into the said junction/lane, for obvious reasons. Go back to your book of driving rules and reread it, please.

"You just don't understand. I'm not locked up in here with you, you're locked up in here with me!"

I beg to differ. Watchmen was awesome and I loved it. But I can see why certain people wouldn't like it. Like the idiots sitting behind me who groaned in disappointment everytime they found out that Dr Manhattan's private parts were censored. Or someone who gave his thumbs down just because he didn't understand the premises of the movie.

But I loved it. And now I'm all raring to read the comic and find out if the movie really did live up to its expectations. :)

Watchmen is not your typical superhero movie. Granted, there are fight scenes in there, and those were awesome too, but if you're looking for mindless fighting and fluff with absolutely no thinking in between then this movie is not for you. The action is there but there are a lot of conversations in that movie.

Here's how my husband described it, which I think fits the bill: This is not a superhero movie. It's a movie with superheroes in it. Think about it. It's not the same thing.

"The whores and politicians will look up and shout: 'Save us'. And I'll look down and whisper: 'No'".

Huh...

I did one of those personality thingies for fun, and this is what it told me:

You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

Enough is enough - but the problems never seem to stop. They never stop. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit - you bounce back time and time again - you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that 'belief' system that in the end, everything will turn out OK - and you are right -it will!

You feel that you must have co-operation from those close to you before the existing stressful situation can be improved. You feel that no-one understands you and this lack of understanding and appreciation makes you feel completely isolated. You need that feeling of security and would like to get away from what you now consider depressing shackles. You have that need to re-establish your own individuality but your sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for you to let go - to open up, but the way that you are feeling at this time makes you feel that 'Enough is enough' and you are prepared to give in. This disturbs you as you feel that this attitude is an obvious sign of weakness - an attitude to be overcome and so in spite of this situation you feel that in order to assert your own individuality you need to continue to practice self-restraint.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.


*shrugs*

Just a Thought..

I wonder what the Sri Lankan Cricket Players must have done to ruffle those terrorists' feathers that they would get attacked in such a way. Maybe playing cricket it's a wrong thing to do. Maybe it's totally blasphemous. And people who do it should totally be assasinated.

Maybe.

You cricket players better watch out now. Yep. Watch your backs you sinners!

Seriously lah.

RJ

When I was a baby, my parents went to a toy warehouse sale to buy me some toys. My father threw the budget to the winds, buying so many that my mother was astounded by the amount. She asked him why he was buying so many. He said "Because I never got any of this when I was a kid and I don't want my child to miss out like I did".

15 years ago, something happened that changed my relationship with him.
If I could take those 15 years back and change everything, I would.

Today, he is opening a new restaurant in Bangi. I don't think I remember a time when I've been more proud of my old man.

Changes

A few days ago, someone contacted me and said that she wanted to interview me about my blog for her Master's Thesis. I decided to do it. I mean, who knows right? In the future, I might need the very same help. :)

Anyway, she asked me if I noticed any changes throughout the blog, and I must say I do, now that I've really gone through all my entries. My old entries were full of disappointment and anger. It's a part of me that I don't really like, because I'd always be full of pessimism about life and about other people. Not an excuse, but I was going through a difficult time of trying to get through my last semester, the drama that came with it as well as the academic exercise that plagued my mind for months on end.

Nowadays, I would say that my posts are a little more lighthearted. I'm inclined to laugh a lot of things off, and I'm glad for it. It really doesn't mean I don't feel the disappointment that life hands over to me. It just means that I'm able to look at them more positively. For instance, I didn't get that job I've been dreaming of. I cried about it to my husband for a while, but then I realise that some day, I will get another opportunity. Something that might prove to give me better experiences than what this one was supposed to bring.

So yes Mia, I do notice a change in the way I blog. Thanks for helping me notice it. Hehe.

The Cold War

Before anyone starts wondering what happened, and gets notions about me being in one with a certain somebody, I am going to explain. It has nothing to do with fights or arguments that resulted in me not talking to anyone.

It's just simply, literally, a cold war.

See, the air-conditioning is extra cold in my department. Therefore, when it gets unbearable, inevitably, someone will march over to the air-cond room and switch it off. Unfortunately, about five to ten minutes later, someone else from another department will inexplicably turn it back on although most of the people there are wrapped up in jackets and scarves as well. INEXPLICABLY.

So the people from my department (including me) will grumble and direct our evil stares to the respective person who keeps switching the damn thing back on, and about half an hour (we're nicer) later, someone goes over and switches it back off.

Rinse and repeat for the whole day.

Before anyone asks, yeah, the guy who keeps turning the aircond back on has a very annoying face. I want to slap it but I'd get fired.