She Listens!

So after 8 whole months of pampering and being the apple of everyone's eyes, my daughter has become somewhat spoiled. She basically refuses to go to sleep unless she is so tired that she can't see straight, and this poses problems to us whenever we need her to take a nap. Today, I had been trying to put her down for a nap for the better part of half an hour, and as usual, she's struggling and crying, and screaming and yelling as if the world would end if she slept. Exasperated, I took her pacifier out and said "Listen. Listen to me, Hana". To my surprise, she quiets down and looks at me, so I continue. "You need to take a nap because you're tired. When you wake up, we can continue playing, okay?" and give her back the pacifier. She takes it, and about 10 minutes later, quietly falls asleep.

The love of my life

One of them, at least.

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Time

In my mind, my youngest sister is still 17. Our other sister is still 21 and I'm still 24. My mother did not age a day over 40 and my father is still 45. Nevermind that when you take into calculation the years we were born, and how far apart we're aged, the numbers don't make sense. This is just how I see them. In my mind, we're all stuck in a infinite time warp.

But then I watch my daughter grow, from being able to fit her whole body into my arms, to her being able to turn over on her own and babble nonsensical things at us when she wants something and I realise that time isn't stuck at all. It just fooled me into thinking that we're all younger than we really are. Because Hana is constantly growing, it shatters my illusions and brings me back to reality.

In reality, Hana is more than 6 months old. I'm almost 27, my youngest sister is going on 20, and the other one is turning 25. My mother will be 53 this year, and my father, 56.

Realising these things give me a jolt. And I guess a part of me wishes that time wouldn't go by so fast. That it really would just stop for a while and let me enjoy the precious moments.

Testing

Today's breakfast: 3 gyozas and a pau

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Precious 2011

In a dark place.

No one is seeking one, but that's the only explanation I have for making this blog private for a while. I think I'm out now. I hope.

Cut

For the first time ever, I feel this urge. And I'm not stupid. I know the repercussions. But I feel it anyway.